Post # 1
So I posted yesterday about my mom and her sarcastic messages…
Basically, I don’t really get along well with my mom. I feel we have nothing in common, and I really don’t enjoy talking to her.
She sent me a sarcastic e-mail yesterday along the lines of “are you still alive? It’s been so long, we’re beginning to wonder. My phone number hasn’t changed.”
I got married 3 weeks ago, and last spoke to her on the phone about 2 weeks ago, and I have e-maled her pictures since the wedding.
I just find this so incredibly rude. Instead of just picking up the phone and calling me, she sends me this snarky e-mail. I know if I call her, I’ll get an earfull of the same BS.
Any ideas on how to respond? I’ve considered just breaking ties with her, but I really love my dad and enjoy talking to him.
Post # 3
If it were me, and I’m not saying this is the best way to handle it by any means, but I would respond back with “OH, good, you are alive. I haven’t had a phone call from you in a while.”
Post # 4
Eh, it’s your mom. Take it with a grain of salt.
“Hey Mom, been so busy. I’ll try and be better about getting in touch with you. How have you been?”
Don’t give her a chance to get started. If she does, just say “I’d like for this to be a pleasant conversation. Can we move on?”
Post # 5
“I regret to inform you that I’m dead. Thank you for your interest. Have a nice day!”
Post # 6
you just got married, can you have some time and space with your new husband? good lord… try not to get snarky back and just be sickeningly sweet. kill em with kindess 🙂
Post # 7
@GroovyHippieChick: I seriously LOL’d at this. Shhh. I’m at work! Work isn’t THAT funny.
Post # 8
I absolutely do not feed into that. She wants a reaction from you, don’t give it to her. As you said, she is welcome to call you. I ignore crap like that. It’s one of my “hot buttons”.
Post # 9
My mom isn’t sarcastic, but sometimes she says things that really annoy me…but I love her and she’s my mom so I just let it go. I like what @Mars62312: response was.
Post # 10
That is friggin’ hillarious! I would love to do that!
@kate02121: It’s a total hot button for me too. I’ve just been fuming since I read that message, and it put me into a foul mood all night last night, and again now when I opened my e-mail again.
@lolaswann: I just don’t even want to call her now. I’m always so open with my feelings, I don’t think I can bury this, it gives her more reason to do it again because that’s what she wants from me.
Post # 11
I really think this needs to be addressed so she knows that it’s unacceptable, and it really has the opposite effect to what she wants. The more she pulls this crap, the further I’m going to pull away from her.
Post # 12
Sounds like my mom… are you sure we’re not related? LOL
I have a son and do not call him for weeks…. why do I have to call my mom every single day?
Post # 13
@GroovyHippieChick: This is exactly what I would say.
Post # 14
@metalbride: I would just be blunt with her. Something along the lines of…
“Your tone in that email was really rude and hurtful. I’m not sure why you pretend to find it surprising that I’m not in touch more frequently, given the way you choose to address me. If you actually want us to be closer and talk more often, try being friendly and polite to me. For example, “Hi Metalbride! Just wanted to drop you a line and let you know your dad and I are thinking of you! Hope married life is treating you wonderfully. We miss you! Give us a call sometime soon if you have a chance” would elicit a more positive response. So would simply calling me yourself, rather than being passive-aggressive about it.
If you want to drop the snark and the bitterness and have a warm, polite, adult relationship, then I’d love it if you reached out to me and said so, and I will absolutely do my best to make sure I’m staying in touch. Otherwise, I’m confident that Darling Husband will be sure to inform you promptly in the event of my untimely death.”
Post # 15
Ha! That’s totally a message that I would send. Personally, I think you are reading too much in to it as it was a joke.
Post # 16
I’m sorry, but I don’t see anything sarcastic in her email either. If she called you and said the same thing, would you be as annoyed?
Guess I’d better watch myself, since I say that all the time to my own kids when I haven’t heard from them. The difference is, they apologize for being busy and not returning a call and don’t sound like they want to rip my head off. 🙁