(Closed) How to respond when people ask if they are invited

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 17
3772 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@sealevels:  Your planner has great tact! I’m with you.. If I didn’t have something already prepared in the back of my head, I’d probably say, “Uh, did you get an invitation? No? Well then you have your answer.” Lol

Post # 18
187 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

my fiance works at a steakhouse just for wedding funds along with his fulltime job. Some of his regulars BEGGED him to come to our wedding…my reaction- are you kidding me?! you have never met me, or hung out with my fiance outside of you ordering a steak. haha


sometimes people just don’t think. When this happens i kind of just say it depends really because we have large families. and just leave it open-

Post # 19
1848 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

@s2bmrscook:  Haha! Glad I’m not alone. Sometimes I have to bite my tongue and hard.

Post # 20
525 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I was very polite the first few times the same people tried to invite themselves, but lately I’ve gotten a bit less polite and somewhat rude. I just reply back with “we’ll have to see” or “I’ll get back to you about that”. Yes, it’s not polite: I know. But, when the same people ask several times and don’t take the hint, I lost it.

Post # 21
4594 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I usually just said something along the lines of “Our guest list isn’t set yet, but I have a crazy big family, so I probably won’t be able to invite all of my friends.” (I do have a large extended family, so it wasn’t a lie, per se, even if I knew some wouldn’t be able to come.)

Post # 22
3941 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Who ASKS to come to a wedding?  That seems like the strangest thing to me!  It’s one thing if people assume, but begging to come to a wedding?  Now that is just weird.

I would just tell them that your venue space only holds a certain amount of people and you’ve reserved it for family and close friends, so it doesn’t ultimately come down to a money thing.

Post # 23
26 posts

It’s going to be pretty small, so unfortunately we won’t be able to invite everyone we want to.

Post # 24
977 posts
Busy bee

I’ve just been telling people that we are on a budget, inviting immediate family and friends that we see on a regular basis.  More like “People that are IN our lives, not a PART of our lives”…lol. 

Post # 25
8439 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

We just told people we’re only having family because of our budget.  Most people are understanding of this.  Unfortunately you always have the people that try to invite themselves (Oh i’ll just stop by, I don’t need to eat dinner).  My Fiance and I wanted to send these rude people a fake invite, rent a small room, play Rick Astley on a loop and get a beautifully decorated styrofoam cake that says “You’ve Been Rick Rolled’.”  Sadly, it’s not in the budget.

Post # 26
268 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

We had this question a lot. Someone in our social circle used to say to us all the time “Your wedding is going to be so much fun” or “I hope you have ____ at your wedding” and “I can’t wait for your wedding!” 

We would just smile and change the topic. Of course, now that the Save the Dates are out, these comments have stopped!

Post # 27
79 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

BOTH my fiance and I have had this problem.  SERIOUSLY?  WHO ASKS THAT?!  It’s SO Rude!!   We didn’t know what to do!!  BOth of us were totally caught off guard.  HOw ridiculous of people to ask like that.  THey deserve not being invited because they were so rude to ask such a question. 

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