(Closed) How to Respone when people ask are you registered????

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
9916 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

You can register online.  That’s really easy to do.  Just register for a few items, direct people there, and then they will get the point that you don’t need much.

Post # 4
9290 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

you can register almost everywhere online.  just register for a few items, people will most likely give money if there aren’t a lot of registery items.

Post # 5
33 posts
  • Wedding: July 2013

We didn’t register anywhere. When anyone asks – or when people pressure us to register, I don’t know what is with that – I just say, “Oh, we’ve decided not to register anywhere.” lightly. If they press, it’s “We’re really hoping to get some unique things picked out by our guests, since we have all the basics already.” That usually stops people. I wouldn’t mention money though, that’s awkward.

Post # 6
1900 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

When people asked us, we would just say “We’re actually trying to cut back on all our belongings as we’re buying a house and don’t want to move too much stuff, so really just your presence on the day is enough.” Most people would then respond with something like “Oh! You’re buying a house? That’s pretty expensive! How about I just give you some money – I bet that’ll come in handy!”

You can also just ask outright for money – I know some people think it’s horrible, but I’d rather be upfront. We just told people we either wanted a sentimental gift or money – we’re not going to treasure a new toaster, but something that symbolises their relationship with us will get treasured for years, and money will always be greatly appreciated!

Post # 7
2742 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Disney

I registered us on amazon and etsy 🙂

Post # 8
776 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

In my culture, sending an invitation without a registry is code for “just give us money.”

Post # 9
1465 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@larissamarie19:  A round-a-bout way may be to register for your honeymoon (I’m doing it and my cousin did it, which worked great for her!) If you are having a honeymoon, of course! It’s basically as if your guests are giving you money because then you don’t have to pay for your honeymoon, which frees up some money for your house, etc. Try honeyfund.com 

Post # 10
11480 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

Although it’s never appropriate proactively  to mention gifts of any kind for yourself, if someone specifically asks you  if you would prefer money, I believe it’s fine to give a polite but honest answer.

I think something along the lines of, “Thank you.  You are so sweet to ask! We actually aren’t registered for any household items, because we already have everything tangible that we need for our home.” To someone who has just asked if you would prefer money, a response such as that likely would elicit a follow-up question along the lines of, “So, you would prefer money, then?”  To which you could respond with something along the lines of, “Well, we plan to apply any monetary gifts we may receive toward our honeymoon or the purchases of our new ______________.” Even if the prospective gift-giver chooses not to ask a follow-up question, a statement such as that provides him or her with all he or she needs to know.

Post # 12
1966 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I think you’re answer was fine. I wouldn’t aay we want cash. You can also register online,  that’s how most people I know register including myself. 

Post # 13
668 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@nawella:  Actually, doing a honeymoon registry is very misleading and rude to guests — it is as you say a round about way of getting cash and asking for cash is never polite plus those funds take a share of whatever the person is giving. I strongly discourage using honeymoon registries.


As for your dilemma, I’d make a small registry on amazon or another online Canadian store. And if asked say, “Oh we have a small registry on Amazon, but we really don’t need much. We’re just thrilled to have the company of our guests at our wedding.” This 1) maintains not asking for gifts; 2) makes clear you don’t want physical gifts; 3) Will lead to cash, because it is rude on the guests’ end to arrive empty-handed. Don’t say anything about cash specifically.

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