(Closed) How to return a wedding gift?

posted 8 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
4485 posts
Honey bee

They will be hurt and offended if you do not accept the gift. Cash the check asap and keep the money. If you don’t cash it right away, it will completely mess up their bank account since they have an outstanding check.

This is one gift that you cannot return, no matter how you feel about it. It’s not your dad’s place to talk to them about the money either. They knew going into it that it would likely be a financial burden but since they are close to your dad, they chose to be generous to you. If you do not accept the gift, with a gracious and prompt thank you, they will be offended and upset.

Post # 4
234 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I agree with @Ember78.  They knew what they were doing when they gave you the present, and they know the status of their checking account.  It was their choice to give you such a generous present.  Cash the check, and write them a very thoughftul thank you note.  

Post # 5
2155 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Yes, I think that they obviously put thought into this gift to give you this amount, and I think it would be an offense to them to not accept it.  They want you to have it and it is polite to accept it.

Post # 6
2247 posts
Buzzing bee

They obviously could afford it since they gifted it to you.  Cash the check because I am sure they’d be offended if you didn’t.

Post # 7
6065 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2012

I agree with PP’s, it would be very rude for you not to accept or for your father to say anything to them about it.

Its very nice that you are concerned, but I say just accept graciously.

Post # 8
122 posts
Blushing bee

Cash the check and use some of the cash to buy them a really special chistmas gift x

Post # 9
72 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think a lot of time, people give gifts out of etiquette (sometime spent more than they could afford to save face).

Same thing happen to my wedding and my cousin’s wedding. One of our aunts couldn’t make it to our weddings because she’s too old to travel but she mail us checks. My cousin didn’t cashed the check nor told her that he’s not cashing the check, and did not sent her a thank you card either, so she complaint to our grandma about it.

When it was my wedding (a year later), my mom told me not to cash the check (since she’s old and have limited income) but told me to return the check with a thank you card. I happened to be in her area, so I return the check to her in person, she was surprised but happily take back the check. I will be mailing out a thank you card to her soon. But so far, no complaint from her.

So my advice to you would be return the check, tell them that their presence was enough and you really appreciated their intention.

Post # 10
647 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I would be so humiliated if someone returned a check I gifted to them because they thought I could not afford it.

You have no idea what their financial status is.  The only people who do are the ones who wrote the check and I’m sure they considered what they could afford before giving it to you.  Cash the check and send a nice thank you card.

I mean, what if they had given you an expensive present?  Would you have returned the present to the store for cash and handed the cash back to them?

Post # 11
1477 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Money is tight for me and my Fiance for similar reasons, but we still enjoy giving big checks at weddings. Not only would we be offended, but I would ask the bride or groom about the check. They might end up thinking it got lost or stolen. If I thought that, I might just write another check and mail it.

If they didn’t want to give you the money, then they wouldn’t have written the check.

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