(Closed) How to RSVP to Dad's Mistress' Baby Shower Invite

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
2610 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI

Honestly, if it was me I would do nothing. I don’t think getting invited to any event requires me to send a gift to that person. Doesn’t mean I wouldn’t but I don’t feel obligated. Especially in this situation I think the most neutral thing to do is nothing.

Post # 4
772 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014


Wow that is stressful.  Possibly the invite was sent because it would hurt you less to recieve an invitation even when its well known that you couldn’t attend than to find out your were excluded from the shower.


If this happened to me now I would send a gift.  My dad also had a new baby when I was 20.  I was in college then and didn’t have a cent to spare so I just sent my congratulations.

Post # 5
8395 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Honestly I probably wouldn’t send anything.

Post # 6
7288 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Personally I think all showers should be banned, because I hate any gathering whose sole purpose is to collect gifts, but until that glorious day, the polite thing for you to do would be to send a gift when you decline. Registries are just suggestions— your father and Karen should be buying everything the baby needs, so don’t feel too obligated to pick an expensive item from the registry. Remember that, regardless of your feelings for Karen, this child will be your step-brother or step-sister, so pick something that you would want to give to your future step-sibling, leaving your feelings for Karen out of it.

Post # 7
664 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I wouldn’t be sending a thing, for so, so many reasons.

Post # 8
1777 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

This baby is going to be your half brother or sister… so I think you should be nice for the sake of this person who didn’t ask to be born into these circumstances.  It’s going to be hard enough having a family in turmoil and a 60 year old dad. 

I would send a nice card and then something fun that you would appreciate getting, whether it is on the registry or not.  Maybe a gift card to a “My Pictures” place.  You can get something there for different budgets.

Post # 9
3371 posts
Sugar bee

@soontobemrsemr:  SEND HER A BOX OF CONDOMS.

Yes I am a horrible person, but made you giggle? Yes? Laughing Anyway, I get that the situation sucks. The only thing I can say is that it’s not this baby’s fault for what his mother did, so try to think of it as your father’s baby instead of “her”, the “evil homewrecker” baby. I don’t know about etiquette, but if you don’t at least extend the olive branch your father is going to get an earful from Karen. Be the bigger person here. You can do it. And you have your Fiance for moral support.

Post # 10
9198 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

@sugar_biscuit:  +1 – I’m sure they didn’t want to offend you by not inviting you.

I’d just send a rather bland but congratulatory card and leave it at that.

By The Way I totally remember that thread!  Sorry that it came true :/

Post # 11
621 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

don’t reply when she ask why didn’t u rsvp say u never got an invite

Post # 12
307 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

I’d just send a card.

Post # 13
451 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014


If your dad is important to you and you are trying to keep a positive relationship w/ him do what he would want you to do, for him. I went through similar experiences and I had to swallow my pride a time or two for his sake. I now wish I had done it more because he was my daddy, and I his baby girl and he passed 3 years ago. Maybe talk to him first and see what he wants. I agree, I would want NOTHING to do with that woman but sometimes we do what we have to four our real family, even if that means letting someone in we despise.

Post # 14
5273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

I would send a card to keep some level of peace and that is all. 


Post # 16
2143 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I would just send a card. If you’re not attending you shouldn’t be obligated to give a gift. But a card would at least acknowledge it, and seem like a show of good faith to your dad.

The topic ‘How to RSVP to Dad's Mistress' Baby Shower Invite’ is closed to new replies.

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