(Closed) How to say no children unless necessary on invite insert

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
1757 posts
Buzzing bee

nope, it has to be all or nothing- otherwise feelings get hurt and people will take advantage by bringing kids claiming it was “necessary” when really they were just too cheap/lazy to hire a sitter

Post # 3
3437 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Poppy Ridge Golf Course

There is no way to word it the way you describe without causing confusion. You either want children there or you don’t. Saying no children unless necessary is odd. The main problem I see is that you and your H2B need to get on the same page.

Post # 4
2230 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2019 - Chateau Lake Louise

View original reply
casabonita :  You can’t really do that. You need to make a decision – you and Fiance together – if you want to allow children or not. Saying “We’d prefer it if you didn’t but really it’s cool” is worse than an outight no.

You can make explicit exceptions, if you want to “Only children of immediate family are invited to attend” but the best option is just to make a clear decision that kids are okay, or that you’d rather not have them there. 

You can also invite children to the ceremony but not the reception. That typically cuts down on the guest list because parents will often leave early rather than get a sitter.

Ultimately, this is something you have to duke out with Fiance and make a clear decision on one way or another. Giving a wishy-washy invite is worse than a straight up exclusion, anyday.

Post # 5
2937 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

Sorry, but that definitely won’t work but you have multiple options! 

1) Invite all kids 

2) Only invite the children of immediate family (ex: nieces and nephews) 

3) Have an adult only wedding 

Anything else tends to cause confusion or breaks up families with multiple children (age restrictions are the worst unless it’s 18+). 

Post # 6
3350 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

View original reply
casabonita :  you don’t. Invite adults – youll probably have people contact you nonetheless as ask if their Littles are invited (because somehow, once you have children you totally forget that the people on the envelope are invited and that’s it). This is the point at which you could tell them they can bring their minis (if you want)

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