(Closed) How to say “No, I won’t be your MOH”

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
793 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

If you told her once before that you don’t care for her bf (now fiance.), then tell her that you won’t do it because you still don’t care for her Fiance. If you told her it once already I don’t know why telling her again would hurt? You don’t have to be mean about it, but just be like “Listen, this is nothing personally against you, but I can’t be in your wedding. I saw a few things when we were super close that I didn’t like when you were with your Fiance. I hope you understand. This is not anything against you, I just don’t feel right or comfortable standing up next to you to support your marraige that I don’t really support. Sorry.”

The end. 🙂

Post # 5
Member
793 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@mwitter80 – Are you worried about loosing her as a friend? Because if not and you are still concerned for her, tell her that you don’t feel or see that she is happy, even though she might be, I don’t know haha. Tell her you don’t feek like this realtionship is healthy for her, and that you are sorry but you can not just stand up for a relationship that you think will hurt her in the future. That is all you have to do. If there was a simplier way to tell her no other than no I would certainly tell you. Other people might tell you to ignore her I don’t know, but I don’t think that’s right either, because I am sure there are ways she could just continue to nag you about it. Just be upfront about how you feel about it.

Post # 7
Member
1066 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

What a tough situation to be in!!!  I do not envy you at all.  I don’t know if I would be able to say that to someone.  I might just keep it general and non personal and just say you don’t have the time and money to make that kind of commitment, sorry.  I don’t know what else I would say without hurting her feelings??

Post # 8
Member
793 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

The only reason I didin’t tell you to say the money thing is I have found many times in a situation where a person might find out that you were totally lying to them about not having the funds. I’ve seen it happen before. Someone on facebook wrote statuses all the time about going on vacation this and that and her friend saw them all and there was whole bunch of drama about “I thought you couldn’t afford to do all these things!?” and she ended up having to just tell the truth in the end anyway.
So like I said the only reason I didn’t tell you to do that is because if she finds out from a mutual friend, or whatever and hears or sees that you are going out all the time or anything like that she might be like “Hmm, yea right, she can’t afford it my butt.”

Plus I always go by honesty is the best policy.
If you certaintly can’t afford it or don’t have the time then you can certainly tell her so. I don’t know your whole situation, but good luck. 🙂

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