(Closed) How to say “No Thank You” to a bridal shower…

posted 11 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 18
1565 posts
Bumble bee

@EvieMarie: lol, I would totally be their bride – sounds like a plan 🙂 

Post # 19
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I agree that not all showers involve lingerie.  In fact I think the way the invites are worded is the key to what type of gifts are given.  For example, his and hers couple showers or a stock the bar shower.  I would just specify that they don’t have the things you dis-like.  I also have never seen people put bows on the brides head at any of the showers I’ve been to.  We always take the bows and hang them on a coat hanger to use later for the rehearsal bouqet.

I think you just need to grin and bear-it or you might regrett it later like the others have said.  Good luck!

Post # 20
447 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

I’m not really into bridal showers either, but I ended up having one and it was great. It was a couples shower and instead of games, it was a murder mystery. It was a big game rather than a lot of small ones. There was a dessert buffet based off my favorite mystery books instead of a meal. It suited me perfectly.

I’m sure you can find something that works for you. Just set some ground rules. I’m trying to do the same thing right now with a baby shower. Everyone has been very receptive to where I draw the line. I’m sure if you explain, your in-laws will understand.

Post # 21
1229 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

Unfortunately, Ms.Mini might be right about the dreaded “surprise shower”!! It happened to me.  I tried to tell my Aunt that I really didn’t want the shower that she offered because I was already having 2 others!!! Could we please consolidate, I asked?  No, she said, Your family is just too big.  I *thought* I put my foot down. 

Then it happened.  What I thought was a baby shower for my cousin – was my wedding shower.  Oh no.  At the very least, it was a couples shower and they roped DH into it too! 

I’m not saying this will happen to you. I’m just saying it’s a possibility. 

Also, I think you will really offend your soon to be inlaws and extended family if you don’t at least agree to some laid-back, alternative version for a party.  Actually, our couples shower was really fun and it was nice to have DH there with me to open presents and thank people.  They also surprised us with  a great video montage of our lives growing up and together set to our wedding songs….IT was a really nice surprise ending to an event I originally wanted to nix!

Post # 22
9 posts
  • Wedding: August 2010

just settle on a nice brunch or luncheon as dinner can get a little bit carried away. and even if they make you wear a bow/tiara/sash/balloon, i think you’ll live to remember the silliness of it.

i thought i didn’t want a shower as well, so i settled for dinner. it was fun. only closest friends invited. they made me wore tiara, sash, and balloon (clipped to my dress). a week later i looked back at the photos and realized that i had the best friends possible.

i did made fun of myself throughout the night. but that’s ok. =)

actually i had two different showers for two different sets of friends. one was luncheon, and the other one was dinner. i bought travel sets from sephora for all the attendees since i dont want them to spend all that money for me for nothing.

Post # 23
10360 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

My friend’s bridal shower was an all-day event that was basically me being held hostage with a lot of 50-year-old women I didn’t know that were alarmingly conservative “Your LIVING with your fiance? GASP!” “You’re not getting married in a CHURCH? Double GASP!”. It was horrible. And impossible to leave since the bride was my ride. It was then i decided that my shower would be short, at a restaurant, and focused on the very small awesome guestlist instead of on the presents.And mine was awesome. Just give them guidelines to make it your own if they are insisting. And, if nothing else, suffer through it for a few hours to get stuff for your house. Think of it as payment for gifts 😉

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