Post # 1
Okay this is going to sound ridiculous but bear with me LOL
So far in my wedding planning process, things have been easy and we have gone with the first vendor we looked at (caterer, photographer, venue, officiant… all were one-and-done haha we loved them all at first sight!)
Well, now we are on to figuring out our cakes/cupcakes and have scheduled complimentary tastings with two different bakers (both for the weekend after next).
This sounds so silly, but I already feel like, guilt/dread at having to tell one of them that we’re picking someone else! The bakers at both bakeries have been so kind and helpful and I look forward to meeting them both in person and doing the tastings, but I feel guilty and almost like I’m leading the other one on? Or wasting their time and effort of going through the tasting only to say we are taking our business elsewhere.
Am I ridiculous? (Probably LOL) I am just like, a “people pleaser” type of person and I hate thinking that I will let one of these nice ladies down haha
So… I guess I’m just wondering if I’m alone in feeling this way, and also what is the nice way to word it when I eventually turn one of them down?
Sorry for being weird. Hahaha 😂
Post # 2
citizenerased14 : haha you seem so sweet!! Here’s what I’d do… i’d draft a brief email now: “Thank you so much for your time and for the tasting! Everything was great. However, we have ultimately decided to go with a different vendor. Thank you again!” And just leave it as a draft and which ever vendor you don’t go with just type in the email address send it and forget it.
They wont take it personally. This happens all the time.
Post # 3
I felt bad saying no to vendors. But they go through this – they understand people shop around and compare vendors! You shouldn’t feel guilty (though I totally get the feeling because I’ve been there!)
What PP said is perfect as a response when you make a decision.
Post # 4
Agree with pp. If they want an answer in person just tell them you need time to discuss. Then follow up with the email above.
Post # 5
somathemagical : penguin8407 : bibliophilacticbee : Thank you all for your answers and insight!
I now have a new/related question just to complicate things LOL
There was a third baker we had tried contacting (she is independent but comes really highly recommended) but she was out of town on vacation. She called me back today now that she’s back in town and we talked about setting up a tasting, but she can’t do it until after Christmas. She did ask me if I had any other tastings/meetings set up, just to see if she could accommodate me that same day, since she knows I live far. But the 15th was too soon.
She told me to call her closer to Christmas if I want to set something up, but said if I choose another bakery it’s fine (“You’ll be missing out on the best cupcakes in the world, but…” LOL she was really funny)
So this is all leading up to… how soon will these other places probably expect a decision? 😱 Based on the timing, the tasting with this third lady would not be for about two weeks after the first ones. Is that way too long? Can we be honest and tell the first places that we have another tasting after Christmas?
I mean, there’s a chance we will love one of the first places and it’ll be a non-issue, but I love what I’ve seen of this other woman’s work and would love to give her a chance too.
I don’t know why this is stressing me out so much but it is haha Thank you for putting up with all my questions!
Post # 6
All I can say, is when going to different places to get cupcakes DON’T TELL THEM ITS FOR A WEDDING. My cousin got married and they called a bakery and ordered all their cupcakes not mentioning they were for a wedding at all. They paid for them and showed up to pick up and somehow mentioned the wedding i guess and the bakery said, OH there is actually a different price for wedding cupcakes… Like 3 dollars more per cupcake!!!
My Cousin of course laughed his ass off at them and was like, NO absolutely not. A cupcake is a cupcake and we paid for them already. The bakery gave them to them and didn’t get to charge them an outrageous increase just because it was a wedding.
When I get married I am not mentioning to vendors its a wedding AT ALL whenever possible. Not paying “wedding prices” for the same food just because its a wedding. THat I think is immoral. Just a tip incase you want to try that approach.
Post # 7
citizenerased14 : when we were choosing our vendors, we didn’t need to tell anyone that we weren’t going with them. We just set up our tastings and when it came time to make a decision, we let the vendor who we were going with know our date and that was pretty much it. In my experience, there was only 1 vendor who reached out to us to see if we would be going with them, and we just kindly said we decided on something else. Usually, unless they pencil you in or you put down a deposit, you don’t need to let them know you won’t be going with them. They’ll get the hint when you don’t book anything lol
Post # 8
- Wedding: July 2021 - British Columbia, Canada
ladyjane123 : Amazing tip! I’m going to keep this in mind for sure.
Post # 9
citizenerased14 : I’m going to let’cha in on a little secret… people in sales (who are successful) are amazing at selling themselves and their products. It is the art of the sale. They make you feel connected to them and thus more likely to choose them/their product. Just remember that.
Anyways! I would be upfront at each tasting. Tell them that you have 3 tastings lined up for x, y, z date and will let them know by x date. I don’t see them pressuring you for a contract/agreement unless you are super close to your date. They might also try to tell you that spaces fill up so you need to confirm quickly. You will have to weigh this as a possibility in losing them as a vendor or understanding that this is ALSO a sales tactic. I’d wait personally.
It may help you to have categories when going into each tasting:
Rank each vendor in each category to help you narrow it down and/or take notes on each so you remember since each tasting is so spread out.
Post # 10
citizenerased14 : I can assure you we’re all used to rejection, although it’s very kind of you to be concerned about having to tell them. 😉 Just a simple “thank you so much for your time, we loved your work but decided to go with someone else”. If you feel compelled to say why, we are always very open (and many times WANT to know why) to the reason you made your decision. ie: price, preferred someone else’s product, etc. A business can’t improve if they don’t know why they weren’t picked. If you end up liking both equally, you could always share the love and have wedding cupcakes from one baker and a grooms cake (at the rehearsal dinner) from another.
Post # 11
ladyjane123 : WOW!!!! That’s insane. Also… great tip! I too would have laughed all the way to the bank… WTF would be different between a wedding cupcake and a regular one? I need to know!
Post # 12
ladyjane123 : omg the vendor is insane! you can’t charge more AFTER you’ve made them! I get why some vendors charge more for weddings – couples tend to be more demanding and picky and while it’s the same food, it can be a lot more hassle. A lot of time weddings also need delivery so the higher price makes sense. But that baker is just stupid.
Post # 13
ladyjane123 : That’s crazy!!!! I fear it’s too late for me, but thank you for sharing that tip with others!
somathemagical : Haha I have worked in retail for 11 years so I assure you I understand about being personable and making connections with customers 😉 But sometimes people are just nice and you juve well and to me that still makes an impact 🤷♀️
I like your ideas about categories/ratings! We will totally do that! ^_^
Post # 14
LilliV : somathemagical : alliebear2289 : Right?! I thought that was crazy but its also not the first time I heard about it. My boyfriends sister let slip to her food vendor that it was for a wedding after giving them all the details and getting a quote including them serving the food at this “event” as soon as they found out it wasn’t for just a random catered event, and for a wedding they jacked their prices up so she found a different vendor. SO shady!!!
When I get married i am going to try to even rent chairs, tables, table settings, the works! without telling them it is for a wedding. It will be a good test haha. Just going to say it is for an event and keep it vague AF. lol.
Post # 15
ladyjane123 : I will just warn you – don’t expect them to be super responsive and in communication a lot prior to the “event” or you’ll give it away that it’s a wedding. My friends that have worked in the industry say the biggest reason that weddings cost more is because they have to spend so much more time hand-holding the clients and that bridal couples expect them to be a lot more responsive or they freak out. You’re paying extra really for service, not for the products. Regular parties say “yea 100 white chairs. Cool. Done. See you on the day” and never contact them again and are far less likely to freak out if something goes wrong. But for truly laid back couples though it sucks that there is a markup.