(Closed) How to say “No”

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
413 posts
Helper bee

Don’t feel bad!  As someone in sales myself, if I don’t get a job, I always ask if they can tell me why?  Cost?  Different route, etc.  It helps me to know what to work on the next time.  Sure it’s never fun to get a NO but don’t worry about it! 

Just say thank you for your time and efforts but we chose to go a different direction.  Period.

Post # 4
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

I sent an email out with all of the other vendors in the “To:” line explaining that I had selected other vendors and that I appreciated their time.

My sister was more shy about it, so she called after hours and left messages on their answering machines.

Post # 5
1893 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

They won’t ask follow up questions.  That’s why I prefer email, it’s so much easier to send a nice “thank you but we chose to go another direction” email than having to endure an awkward phone conversation. 

I’ve never had a vendor question me as to why, though.

Post # 6
1920 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Don’t feel bad about saying no. Vendors know that you are likely looking at more than one and you have to make a decision. Its just business. As for them asking whyI did have a photographer ask why we didn’t choose them and I was happy to tell them. I think it will help them improve their business.  As long as the feedback you give is constructive.

Post # 7
1876 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@mwitter80: Please tell me you bcc’d them an didn’t put them all in the To line? I think that’d be a little awkward – for them all to know they were up against each other. And to know they are on a chain e-mail. I think creating a mass email, and then individual sending it would be best, but it’s no biggie. I’d say

“Dear Vendor B.

I wanted to thank you for your time and assistance in my wedding planning process. We truly enjoyed our discussions with you, but at this time we have decided to go another route that fits more in line with our (vision, budget, goals, etc).

Thank you,”

Post # 8
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

@JrzyGurl: I didn’t bcc them. I also put who I chose and why in the email. I am in the industry and aprreciate knowing who the bride chose and why they chose them. So I followed suit. I also told each vendor when I sat with them who else I was looking at.

Post # 10
543 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

If someone does ask you “why,” all you need to say is that the vendor you picked better understood your vision. They can’t argue with that. 🙂

Post # 11
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Think of it as doing them a favor/helping them.  It’s not that you are rejecting them, it’s just that you selected someone else.  They need to know and move on.  I doubt you’d get any ‘why’s’ (I didn’t), just simply thank them for their time and say you are calling to let them know you decided on a different route.  You don’t even have to say different vendor.  For all that vendor knows (florist, baker, etc.) maybe you decided you didn’t want flowers/cake, etc.

Be simple and straightforward… it will get you everywhere!

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