(Closed) How to say “thank you for your crappy gift”

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

That sucks, but you do it like you would any other gift. Just pretend you like it.

Post # 4
7779 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Just send them a regular thank you… look at it this way, they could have gotten you nothing.

I’m just warning you now. You’re probably going to take some heat over the “cover your plate” “they left us in the hole” thing.

Post # 5
1418 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

First of all – hahahaha at your post title.  Love it.

In terms of saying thanks, you send the thank you card with the “thanks for the ____” and then fill the rest of the space with things like “We are glad you could share our day with us” and “We hope you enjoyed the evening”.

I agree with june42011 – you pretend you like it, even though it sucks.

Post # 6
828 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

Unfortunately you have to say “thank you” as if it was something you actually liked. No one is obligated to get anyone a gift for their wedding, as weird as that sounds. 

Also, veterinarians don’t make that much money compared to other “human” doctors.

Post # 7
1080 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

just send a generic thank you for the gift note.

Post # 8
6597 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

Remember why you invited them. Did you invite them so that they could cover your plate? Or did you invite them because you wanted them to share your special day with you?

Send a thank you for the gift and for sharing your day with you. And remember that no one is obligated to bring you a gift.

Post # 9
2204 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

They gave a gift, say thank you.

You never know someone’s financial status. Alot of people put on fronts of having more than they do, or maybe they’re going through something. It’s not your place to judge them.

It doesn’t sound like you are very close to these couples, maybe they feel the same about you.

Like other posters said, noone is actually obligated to give you anything. So don’t be a post-bridezilla and be polite.

Post # 10
464 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I agree with the other posters- you say “thanks” just like you would for any other gift, and try to remember that they came and supported your union and move on with your life. While I can really see that this would be annoying, it is true that they don’t owe you a gift, and they did get you something, so you should thank them for what they got you.


Also, I second the poster noting that veterinarians don’t make a lot of money. In most places, this is very true- they tend toward mid-range wages (for their degree level), coupled with HUGE student debt. Even for the high-up businessman, keep in mind that you don’t know the whole story behind someone’s finances. Someone can appear to bevery wealthy, even while they are struggling. Maybe it was a rough month for these guests. And even if it wasn’t, and they’re making tons of purchases and living the high life, you can’t dictate how they see fit to spend their money. Say “thanks” and move on- this isn’t worth you being upset over.

Post # 11
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

we got a few crap gifts, and i just did the whole kill them with kindness thing. it’s not worth it to be rude to them. just remember next time you owe them a gift.

Post # 12
5890 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

you never know someone’s financial situation, regardless of their occupation.  also, i never understood how people were supposed to know how much they were supposed to give to “cover their plate”. 

Post # 13
2821 posts
Sugar bee

Write a mean note with your real thoughts. 

Write an appropriately kind nice note.

Tell your husband to hold one in each hand behind his back and blindly pick.

It’s thank you card roulette.

(I kid, don’t send the mean note)

Post # 14
1135 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

Wow.  I hope this doesn’t reignite the “cover the plate” debate, because we’ve been there and done that around here.  You’re really not going to like what a lot of bees have to say on the topic.  

That being said, be gracious.  They gave you a gift.  Say thank you.  They didn’t have to give you anything, since gifts are never required.  In addition, I think it would be helpful if, when you do say thank you, you try really hard to mean it.  It will make you feel better.  

Post # 15
3788 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

“At least cover your dinner, jerks.” Surprised

I can sympathize with feeling disappointed, but a wedding is not supposed to be a get rich quick scheme. Have the wedding you can afford and be thankful for the love and support of family and friends. Anything extra is just that, extra.

LOL @ troubled

Post # 16
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

I agree with mrsmdphd. I am sure you will find the containers very useful and I am sure the cash will be helpful too. If you really don’t want the containers or the cash, you can send them to me. Personally, I will be thankful for any gifts given; no matter how big or small and in my opinion, their gift is them coming to the wedding; not something materialistic.

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