Post # 1
I’ve noticed that the older I get, the more anxious I get about change. I’ve made a few big changes in life so it’s not like it’s totally new to feel out of comfort zone and I know I can manage anything. I have a specific thing thing in mind that I’m struggling with at the moment, but I want it to be a more general discussion. I have had this problem in several different aspects of my life.
How do you separate the anxiety that is the good anxiety cause change can be scary and should feel a bit anxious and the anxiety that it’s a bad feeling and you don’t want to actually do something? I feel like these feelings get mixed up in my head. Do you have some tools or have you just gotten this all figured out?
Post # 2
rez123 : I have gad and I’ve been analyzing my anxiety for so many years. My anxiety is much more under control and now, when I’ve mentioned some of my anxious days to my therapist, he said it sounds like normal anxiety that most people would feel in that situation.
So I’m honestly not sure. I think pin pointing the root of your anxiety is a good sign because you can do things that will reduce it. For example, I get anxiety about routine changes, my recent anxiety was about needing to drop off paperwork before work. After asking a few questions, what WAS it that was making me anxious, and relaxing that it was about the change in my morning routine, he told me that he thought it sounds like anxiety that most people would feel, worrying about making sure you get to work on time.
Getting up earlier would be a way to alleviate the anxiety.
It’s a lot of analyzing
Post # 3
For me the biggest ‘tell’ is the ability to focus and concentrate.
If it’s ‘good anxiety’ I feel a surge of adrenalin- like nervous excitement, anticipation. I make lists of things I need to accomplish which makes me feel more in control of the situation and I tackle the lists. I’m also able to take a ‘break’ from good anxiety- like after tackling my ‘to do’ lists, I can chill for a bit, read, watch Netflix, exercise, go for coffee wtih a friend.
If it’s ‘bad anxiety’ I have energy but no focus or concentration. I’ll start one task, leave it half done and start another. It’s an unproductive anxiety. I overthink even the smallest mundane decisions- even decisions unrelated to the source of the anxiety. It’s difficult to take a ‘break’ from bad anxiety, active exercise is still do-able but yoga, reading or watching a movie are hard to concentrate on.
Even still, it can be hard to figure it all out, more of a work in process.
Post # 4
I don’t have gad, but making life decisions causes me anxiety. I get nervous in everyday situations but not enough to call it anxiety. It get a bad when I have to make decisions that feel big to me. I used to be a lot more carefree, but now I find comfort from a backup plan. At this moment in struggling with deciding moving and changing jobs, something that doesn’t have a backup plan that comforts me. I just cannot separate this good/bad anxiety.
It’s a really good point about if I’m being able to take a break. Sometimes it’s all consuming but sometimes I can put it back of my head. The trouble is that I’m intellectually able to talk myself into anything. Once I’ve made an intellectual choise then I’m overridden with anxiety that feels bad then I wonder if my mind is tricking me because im scared. Or if it’s my mind telling me that intellectual choise is not always the best one.
I had really bad anxiety 3ish years ago. I cried myself to sleep every night. Couldn’t concentrate and mind was going all the time. I know that was bad anxiety. But I couldn’t figure out the source then.
I know it’s important to feel things, but this is really a pain sometimes. I’m sometimes a bit jealous of people that just go with the flow. Thanks for replies x
Post # 5
I think it would be helpful if you look at it as good stress vs bad stress. I dropped a dress size leading up to my wedding and my doctor said that good stress is still stress on the body.
I don’t think there’s really good anxiety or bad anxiety. It’s just anxiety. Your anxiety about major life decisions is classic, it would give anyone anxiety. What makes the anxiety a problem is the level of which it rises.
Losing sleep and doubting yourself would be above a normal level of anxiety I would think, it’s having a negative impact on you.
Just keep up the self talk and remind yourself “I did not make this big choice lightly, this is what’s right for me, this is the path that I want for my life, I know the choice that I’m making is the right choice for me” and hopefully it will help you soothe yourself.
Anxiety definitely makes you doubt yourself, it sounds like your anxiety is reaching an unhealthy level for you, you’re going to have to focus on coping skills that will help you keep the anxiety to reasonable levels
Post # 6
Sansa85 : thanks for the thoughtful advice. The issue is that the anxiety is stopping from making the decision. I feel like once the decision so made, then I can be determined and cope. It is coming to the decision that causes the anxiety. IWhen every option causes anxiety it’s hard to know what is the good stress and what is the bad stress that would help with decision making. It’s very frustrating. I might make a list. Maybe that helps.
Post # 7
This sounds like very normal anxiety!! Moving and changing jobs is stressful! We did that this year, and I’m looking at changing my job again now.
I think it is possible to refrain anxiety from bad to good. For example, I have butterflies over an upcoming interview. I can see that as a bad thing—as in, oh, I’m so anxious—-I hate this feeling. Or, I can refrain this as my adrenaline is raised because of the interview. An interview is exciting. I get an opportunity to meet new people and try something new. So, it’s really about how you look at it.