Post # 1
Any ideas? I would love to know!
Moving into first house… husband seems to be making a hell of a lot of decisions with the inlaws that do not include me. I’m kind of the other homeowner here, paying the mortgage! But overall I’m his wife! He thinks I’m overreacting. I know for a fact I’m not. Mother-In-Law has a huge hold on him.
Any ideas at all, has anyone here reading this dealt with this?
Post # 3
hello, i had a HUGE problem dealing with Father-In-Law and SIL, couse they just demand lots of things,money from my husband PLUS they want to be part of his desicions and life ALL THE TIME.. leaving me and our baby on the side..
so i totally understand how you feel.
i talked to him, a few times, and it works for some days or weeks, and then they do it again!
BUT hopefully this might not be your case!
when you talked to him DO NOT TELL HIM ANYTHING BAD ABOUT Mother-In-Law OR IN LAWS
do it, calm and in a relax mode
dont complain, at all, make it sound like a conversation kind of. EVEN WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE TELLING HIM EVERYTHING YOU HATE ABOUT THEM!!!
tell him what you want out of this? what you think and like!
:S:S:S:S good luck!!
REMAIN CALM, act relaxed, pretend you listen and understand the point of your Mother-In-Law but make sure you SAY WHAT YOU WANT? LIKE? NEED?
Post # 4
@yassim: what kinds of things are they deciding?
Post # 5
To answer your question: you don’t. your husband is the one that needs to set them.
Until your husband figures things out, you are fighting a losing (and frustrating) battle.
The only thing you can do is tell him how his actions are hurtful and ask him to do things differently. Express to him what you are feeling and why you are feeling that way. I’d also talk about expectations (ie: that your Mother-In-Law doesn’t make your decisions) and that you want a husband that is independent of her.
Your husband is likely trying to figure this stuff out – so talk talk talk about it.
ETA: You can set boudaries for yourself, but you can’t make Darling Husband follow them (that would likely be a lot of fighting between the two of you – which I’m sure is the LAST thing you want).