(Closed) How to stop a dinner party from turning into a potluck?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
1262 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Can you tell your guests that they need not bring anything? Maybe just politely asking if they insist a bottle of wine?

Post # 3
3256 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Odd.  We’ve only had “oh, can I bring anything?”  Send out a reminder email, a few days ahead saying, “you are our guests, and we ask only that you bring only your sparkling personalities, and funniest story.  please come, relax, and let us take care of everything!

Everyone will, then, bring you a bottle of wine or spirits.  This is a hostess gift and you do not need to open them during the party. 

Post # 5
47187 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

futuremrste: ” I’d really prefer that you don’t bring anything this time. I have the menu planned and I’d like to do this on my own.

If you must bring something, a bottle of wine would be great.”

It might be a bit late for this though, if you weren’t assertive enough the first time they raised the issue.

Post # 6
5889 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

Just say, “thanks so much, but please don’t worry about it.  I”ll take care of all the food.” 

Or if you want to give people a way to contribute, “thank so much but I’ve got all the food taken care of.  If you wanted to bring a bottle of wine that’d be great.”

Post # 7
3025 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

HA! Who are these people? I’m always ECSTATIC not to have to bring something. 😀 I’ll be your dinner guest, no problem!

Post # 8
3115 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

futuremrste:  don’t duggest any alternatives. “Sally, I truly appreciate the offer. We have everything covered from start to finish. Looking forward to seeing you & Bob next week!”

Post # 9
1876 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

People like to bring something so let them know they can bring a bottle of wine if they like and follow it up with “but really, we’ll have everything we need – thanks so much!”

Post # 10
1221 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

futuremrste:  Let them know you’ve got all the food covered and really just want them to come and relax. If they keep pushing, I would be honest and say that logistically heating up something at your home wouldn’t work as you will be preparing dinner there.

Post # 11
3043 posts
Sugar bee

futuremrste:  Just shoot them a text or call them and “don’t worry about bringing a thing. We have it covered. See you at 6” or whatever

Or as a PP stated just have them bring a bottle of wine. There is always room for wine! and that way they feel as if they have contributed.

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 6 months ago by  L606.
Post # 12
2178 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

just be honest — “that sounds delicious but you know how our kitchen is! I don’t think that we can fit even one more plate in here …. next time you come by I would love to try XXX though!”

Post # 13
9135 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

futuremrste:  Tell you have everything covered or taken care of but if they would like to bring a bottle of wine or 6 pack you won’t argue with them!

Post # 14
3765 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

honesty is best here. there simply is not enough room to cook anything else, but if they feel like they have to bring something suggest veggies, a cold dessert, or something else that does not require cooking. 

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 6 months ago by  littlemisst08.
Post # 15
1141 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Thank them for wanting to bring something and then tell them what you told us … that you don’t have the kitchen space to accommodate things being heated up or prepared on premesis. 

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