(Closed) How to stop a ring sales person

posted 5 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
1328 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Uhhg, I HATE salespeople like that. I would have just left and never went back. I actaully have a running lists of stores I won’t go to because of people like that. Luckily Fiance has an equal hatred of pushy salespeople so he probably would have flipped out before I did.

Maybe sit down with Fiance and explain that you’ve done a lot of research on this topic and feel very well informed about what you want. You understand that he trusts the store and they are professionals but that they also work on commission so they would rather you spend your money there than online, regardless of what they have available. Tell him how uncomfortable the sales person made you, that you really felt like he was insulting you. Maybe if his knows just how bad you felt by the way the store treated you it will help change his mind about the place.

Post # 4
14659 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’d be more pissed that my SO didn’t listen to me and my concerns and didn’t at least entertain the idea of online price shopping to use to negotiate in a B&M store or buy it online to check out.  Most places offer free shipping and 30 day satisfaction guarentee so theres nothing to lose and only a ton to save.   I’ve actually never run into a pushy sales man, but I imagine if I did I would just ask for someone else to help me or for a manger to speak with.  Maybe he was just trying to show you that you may not need to go as high as say D and VVS1 and that you can’t tell the difference.  But if he did show that and you can, then he should have dropped it and shown you what you wanted.

Post # 5
3697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Just leave and go somewhere else.  A helpful salesperson will show you all different diamonds so you can (or can’t) see the difference and decide what you really want.  My diamond is G color.  I can tell the difference in color, but since it’s set in yellow gold and I don’t mind a little warmth, NBD.  But a decent salesperson would show you a D, E, F, G, H, etc, all next to each other so you can decide what you like. 

You’ve picked out a really pricey stone, so the jeweler was either trying to sell you what he had, since most don’t stock $20k stones, or show you that something “good enough” did exist that you could afford.  A lot of people come in and want a perfect 2ct ring for $5k, I’m sure he just wanted to put something in front of your boyfriend that he’d have a chance at selling, not “HOLYSHIT I CAN’T AFFORD THAT!”

Post # 6
1814 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - Pavilion overlooking golf course scenery, reception at banquet hall

ALL diamonds look sparkly in jewelry store lighting. That’s why they put so many lights, glass, and mirrors in the store. IMO it’s TOO sparkly – you can’t get a good view of what it will look like in real life situations like your living room, office, outside sunny, outside cloudy, etc. Each flash of light blinds you from the inclusions, too. It’s just not a very honest sales environment.

I know that Good Old Gold at least is willing to send you a youtube video comparing a few diamonds you like in sunlight, store light, dim light, etc – I wonder if other online stores like James Allen do the same? 

Post # 7
1634 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

This happened to me when I was my bf suggested I look at ring  styles on my own. His minimum parameters were 1 ct and F color. I asked the usual suspects found in any mall in America. One sales person said “oh, he really wants to take care of you,” but had nothing to show me. Another said “a diamonds’ purpose is to shine” and basically the rest of that stuff is not necessary. And finally, one sales clerk just came out and said his store did not carry what I was interested in.  

My advice is to have a frank convo with the sales person. Let him know your e-ring shopping experience is not going so well. Have a frank convo and before you look at one more ring ask if they have diamonds or can you get you diamonds that you are requesting. if not, move on.

Post # 8
291 posts
Helper bee

@clairelizabear:  I’m confused as to why your SO didn’t notice that the salesperson was being pushy and why he didn’t sense your discomfort. I’d be upset if my SO took the side of a salesperson when we were trying to do something special as picking out a ring together. I am sure the salesperson is hardly a professional and more so just trying to SELL you something.

Post # 10
473 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I’d have walked out of the store and I wouldn’t have put up with hubs not taking my side, especially when it comes to spending our money.

Post # 11
9952 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Hi @clairelizabear:  First and foremost as this is your DEBUT post on WBee… a BIG Welcome to “the Hive”

I am sorry that this didn’t go as you had hoped… sometimes that is how it is

I advise EVERYONE on the Bee who is considering getting Engaged soon to at least head out to a Brick & Mortar Store (horrors even a chain store) if for nothing more than to satisfy some of the preliminary elements of looking for an ERing

1- Find out your Exact Ring Size

2- Find out what it is YOU Like

3- Find out what looks good on YOU (every woman’s hands are different)

4- And figure out things about Gemstones… so if you are buying a Diamond for example, how WARM are you comfy with when it comes to Colour… OF if you’d actually prefer a Coloured Diamond vs a Clear One.

I take it from your Post you did all those things, so the visit wasn’t a total loss

Unfortunately it sounds like your guy was sucked into the Vortex that is Jewellery Store Clerks and their PUSHY attitude (which is all driven usually by commission… and not actual fact / knowledge)

Undecided *Rolls Eye* (cause I am just as disgusted as you are honestly on this front)

Somehow now you have to educate your SO on how this all works.  And info about Diamonds in general… I suggest that you print off the Education Pages from one of the on-line Retailers that do a good job on this front

I personally, like the ones on the Blue Nile Website… but there are others.

He needs to come to understand all the aspects of Diamond Jewellery without having a Salesperson on Commission breathing down his neck and pressuring him to buy

(Guessing this awful man was trying to make you look dumb, cause he knew your Fiancé was the one with the ultimate buying power, and not you.  He probably thought if he could get him “on the hook” that is all that matters.  Sad. )

Anyhow go thru the basics with your guy…




As well as COMFORT & COST

Explain that there are lots of options… figure out what is the COMBINATION OF CHARACTERISTICS that will make a Diamond ERing that you BOTH will love.

Websites like Blue Nile, Pricescope etc also have the added advantage of being able to look on-line for loose Diamonds at varying price points & combinations…

So your guy can see how it all works

That is what I’d do in trying to tackle all this.

As you say, WHY pay crazy money for something that is lesser quality when you can do your homework and find better elsewhere ???

Hope this helps,


Post # 13
306 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Luckily Fiance has always taken my side. I usually spend a fair amount thinking about something before embarking on it, so it was no different when it came to getting a ring. Frankly the one jewelry store I adore, the one salesman is a really asshole. I love them because their bench jeweler is awesome. Fiance and I went to them before we got our engagement ring, to entertain the idea of having a ring custom made from another ring I have. Well when I said the specks on the diamond for the center stone, the asshat laughed at me and said, “Nobody needs a 1/2 carat and you’re not gonna get it if you stay with that guy.” That guy being my now Fiance who bought me a little more then half a carat. When I went in after purchasing my ring, the buttface had to take a diamond tester to it, because he couldn’t believe it was an actual diamond… Thankfully the guy only works one day a week.

Post # 15
530 posts
Busy bee

Are you sure he wasn’t actually trying to be helpful and show you how you could get more bang for your buck?  To be fair, most people can’t see the difference between the colorless and near colorless range.  Same is true for the difference in clarity (as long as it’s eye clean).  However, there is an exponential difference in price. Good Old Gold does lots of comparison videos where they show how hard it is to distinguish between certain color/clarity grades. Just trying to give him (and your FI) the benefit of the doubt.

Post # 16
3256 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

“I’m sorry, do you think women don’t know anything about jewelery?  What an odd perspective to take, given that we wear most of it.”

Accuse him of being sexist, and he will be on his heels, and probably not want to talk his way out of it. 

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