(Closed) How to stop the "Are You Pregnant Yet?!" questions – HELP!

posted 8 years ago in Married Life
Post # 47
672 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

We’ve been getting this question too.  Kids are not in our plan for a few years, and people just don’t seem to understand!!!  When we are asked, we respond with “well, we got a cat!”  

Really, it is a personal descision, and no one should assume anything.

Post # 49
631 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

this thread is hilarious.

Post # 50
3583 posts
Sugar bee

@NovaPotato:  LOL that is awesome!!! I’m totally going to use this one!

People started asking me 5 mins after I was married if I was having kids soon….like what the hell people!!!! I just ignored them 

Post # 51
149 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Cummins59:  People didn’t ask us about having kids for the first few months (I was surprised because I was told it would happen) But now that 2 of my close friends and my sister are PG/had a baby in the past month, EVERYONE is asking me!! I can seriouls almost not leave the house without being asked! Talk about annoying. I havent found the right answer just yet. We do want kids, just not right now. And honestly its no ones business. And its downright nosey. When I get pregnant, you will find out. Otherwise shut up! 😛

Post # 52
277 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Thank goodness for this thread! My husband’s grandmother is our worst offender, but she’s 83 with dementia. She has, however, been hounding us since before we got married. She told us last spring that she hopes we have a “slip up” and that she’s going to come to our house and “poke holes” in all of our “rubbers.” THIS spring, she told my husband that he’s such a sweet and innocent person he probably “doesn’t know what to do.” That last gem was in front of a group of about 4-6 women who are all mutual friends of ours!

I try not to say much because she has a disease and it cannot be helped. My boss has taken to asking me recently when I’m going to “breed.”

I think it’s rude and insensitive, but I’ve started saying that we cannot afford child care — which is mostly true. I want to tell my boss if he gave me a raise, it would happen sooner. I have, in a moment of weakness years ago, told my husband’s grandmother that it’s “not like” the olden days when there were numerous stay-at-home moms in our families who would be willing to care for our child while we work. All of that badgering wore me down, I think.

At this point we say “someday,” and that “we can’t afford day care,” but I find myself telling people also that it will happen when it happens. Just yesterday my husband’s grandmother said that if she dies and then we get pregnant she’ll be “so mad” — even from six feet under!

Post # 53
862 posts
Busy bee

I am getting this ALL the time now.

I’ve resulted to telling them: ‘As soon as prices drop on the black market.’ Or ‘When they go on sale at Cost-Co, we like to buy in bulk”

Another one that usually works, I look at them start pouting and say “All I really want is a puppy!”

Post # 54
4 posts
  • Wedding: May 2008

Since we have been married for five years I always get that question.  I have just started saying “we are doing our part, the rest is up to God”.  Most people shut up after that.

Post # 55
941 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

When people ask me rude questions, I usually just look at them and very nicely ask “Do you really think that was appropriate to ask?”  Generally, people just laugh and say something along the lines of it not really being their business and then I change the topic.

Post # 56
1919 posts
Buzzing bee

I usually respond with, “why, are you offering free daycare?” That usually quiets them up pretty fast because most people around here KNOW how expensive daycare is, and most people asking are relatives who want a baby to play with, not a baby to spend ALL DAY with.

Mostly though, I just tell them that DH and I have a few things that we are squaring away first, and that in a few years we’ll revisit. I don’t have my degree yet, and telling them I’m working on finishing that and expect to graduate next year, most people understand and agree to get that degree first.

Also, for reference, DH is 27, I’m 25. (But, we’ve also been together 8 years, and owned a home together for 1/2 of that, so like many, we had those questions before marriage as well)


Post # 57
439 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Cummins59:  Respond by saying “over my dead body” and see what awkwardness entails.

Post # 58
1498 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Ugh, I’ve had enough of this stupid question. Everytime I see FMiL she asks if I’m pregnant yet. I just normally turn it around on her. “I’m not pregnant, what about you?” And she just stops dead in her tracks. 😛

Post # 60
3380 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@Cummins59:  We have been engaged *less than two weeks* and we are getting this. Not married; engaged.

To make it more annoying, it’s coming from people that know us very well and know we are not having children:

Friend who has kids: “but you look so good holding a baby! I hope this is making you change your mind ;)”

Our families ON A FACEBOOK PHOTO: “look how cute you are holding that baby! Is there something you guys need to tell us???” and “already???” What makes it EXTREMELY irritating from them is they are all *incredibly* aware what a shitty time he has with his childrens mother (an ex GF); who is probably THE main reason he’d never have kids again.

My freaking mother, every single day: “are you so excited to be engaged? did you pick a date? when am I getting grandbabies?” Bitch, like I’ve told you since the ripe ol’ age of 11: NEVER.


Post # 61
85 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

It’s really weird. NO ONE from my family has asked us this.

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