(Closed) How to stop the "when" question?

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
4046 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

People love drama, and love the idea of teasing about what they see as a sore spot. You should answer cheerfully as possible, something like “when the time is right” or “sometime in the future” or ” hey, now, if you keep asking I won’t be able to surprise her/be surprised.” Then change the subject. If they keep asking, tell them its not open to discuss and you’ll let them know when anything changes. Then change the subject if you can.

Post # 4
65 posts
Worker bee

I’m never sure what to say to my SO’s family in situations like these. In the past I always would say ‘when we’re ready’ or ‘when he asks me to marry him’ but that never seemed to stop them asking again two or three hours later.

Now I have holidays coming up again and I’m just tempted to walk out of the room and let the SO deal with it as I don’t think I can answer those questions considering my mental state atm.

I’m with Kerensa with the idea that people love drama and gossip, perhaps they want to be the people that have all the inside scoop on what’s going on in  the family and be like those people that make those ‘FIRST!!!!’ comments in the yahoo forums ect…

Post # 6
355 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Wow, 56 times is a lot! I think by that point I would not have had a polite answer! I just say “When he asks!” But, I guess that doesn’t work if he’s right there. I like the idea of suggesting they might ruin the surprise. Or he could say, “I could tell you but then I’d have to kill you” if he has that sense of humor.

Post # 7
5954 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

I would respond as follows:

Them: “When are you getting engaged?”

You: “I was going to ask if you knew.”

…..incredibly awkward pause ensues, and whoever asked regrets it more than anything, and will most likely never ask again.

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