(Closed) How to suggest counseling?

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

I think counseling works best if the persona is willing to go and wants to change. If he’s not at that place yet, he’ll probably just go b/c you want him to and not get anything out of it.

Post # 4
Member
5148 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Is he also a student too? Colleges often have councellers available, at my college it was a psychology professor I went and talked to for a while. That may be a little less threatening to him.

Post # 5
Member
1854 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

@artbee:I agree with that. The first step would be for him to feel soo uncomfortable with his issues that he can’t stand it anymore and HAS to do something to change. Changing is hard. It takes effort. Often, it’s harder than enduring a bad situation that we’re familiar with, because we find comfort in what we know and that’s that. Change usually comes only when the perceived pain is greater that the expected effort required for the change.

So, yeah, sorry, unless he wants to do something about his issues, there’s nothing you can do to make him go. You can only be there for him, and if you reach a point where you feel like there’s nothing that you can do for him for that particular situation, let him know that it is beyond your capacities.

Post # 6
Member
162 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

I disagree. While counseling is hard, I think that a lot of people have irrational fears about it, and once they get there and realize it’s not so bad, they change their mind. I don’t think it’s a bad thing to give him a push in the right direction…which it looks like you’re already doing.

Post # 8
Member
2496 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

@abbyful: I totally agree!!  My university had a counseling center that was totally free and anonymous.  So many of my friends got the help they needed and it did a lot for them.

I also agree that he has to be at the place where he wants it and knows he needs it.  Although, maybe suggesting that he go so that he can have someone to talk and vent to might be a good step to get him there.  Going in with that mindset will set him up for realizing that he could really get a lot out of it.

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