(Closed) How to sum up what to expect at the wedding in invite

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

I wouldn’t add anything to the invite if you won’t be there, just put the ceremony and afternoon tea reception.

Since your parents are hosting the outdoor activities they can invite people casually through email or word of mouth. You could also add something to the website but make sure to word it as “You’re welcome to…” rather than listing it as a scheduled event.

Post # 4
1699 posts
Bumble bee

@Pele:  If I were your mother, I would be inclined to send out a separate informal note to the guests, saying “So glad to hear you are coming to Pele’s wedding Tea. There’s a little lake at the wedding site with paddle boats and so on, where you and your family might like to picnic after the Tea ends. We’ll barbecue some hamburgers for anyone who wants to stay on after Pele and Tom make their grand exit! So looking forward to seeing you!” Given the recent increases in postal rates, I might send those little personal notes by email rather than paper, but that way they would not be implying that you and “Tom” would still be around, and they would not be detracting from the elegance of your Tea.

And there is nothing nicer, in my opinion, than an elegant afternoon tea!

Post # 5
472 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@Pele:  “Evening sips and bites” is… coy to the point of being incomprehensible, and would in no way prompt me to pack athletic clothes or expect a BBQ to follow at a formal wedding.

I would include a seperate sheet with a little information about the facility and available activities (with perhaps a “… so bring a bathing suit!” and a note to the effect that your parents will be hosting a casual evening BBQ after you leave for anyone who wishes to stay. Most weddings I’ve been to have had a map/driving/hotel directions enclosed with the formal invite, especially pre-internet. It’s good to put the same info on the website but you can’t be certain everyone will check it, especially older guests.

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