How to support a friend

posted 3 years ago in TTC
Post # 2
Member
7457 posts
Busy Beekeeper

kb7:  Just act normally. Honestly it’s WORSE when you feel like people are walking on eggshells around you. A friend recently announced her pregnancy and our other girls were wondering if I was going to be upset (because seriously?! another one?!). I’ll tell you what I told them – I am THRILLED for my friend. Jealous as all hell, but it’s not as if there is a finite number of pregnancies in the world and she cut the line, ran up, and grabbed the one with my name on it. I am able to be happy for her and sad for me at the same time. 

However, I do have another friend that constantly complains that she got pregnant on her first try and was unhappy when she found out it was a girl because she’d rather have a boy. I kind of want to smack her if I’m being honest. 

Post # 4
Member
7457 posts
Busy Beekeeper

kb7:  It is reassuring to hear that we aren’t the only ones having trouble. Also I HATE when people say “just relax…that’s when I got pregnant” Ugh. Yes I tried that, but some medical issues can’t be fixed just by calming down. 

It’s nice that you want this for them, but just remember to be supportive of whatever they decide in the end if this round doesn’t work. I told my best friend that if it doesn’t happen for us that I’ll be ok just being the cool aunt to her daughter. We aren’t even close to giving up yet, but she broke down in tears! She thinks I’ll be such a great mom and wants that for me so badly and there are so many children that need a good home and I’d be a great mom so we should adopt. I LOVE that she wants this for me and that she thinks I’d be such a great mom, but at the same time we aren’t sure if we’d adopt if we can’t have biological children so I don’t want to feel guilted if we decide to remain childfree instead of adopting.

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 3 months ago by  LilliV.
Post # 6
Member
4999 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I would just tell her that you are there for her if she needs someone to talk to. Maybe ask her to go on a walk or come over for coffee (decaf!). Definitely do not tell her that you understand what she’s going through because you did one round of clomid – trust me, that will not go over well. Just tell her that you are thinking good thoughts for her and her husband.

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