(Closed) How to support DH during major weight loss?

posted 6 years ago in Fitness
Post # 3
2777 posts
Sugar bee

@Equine_Breeder:  The number one thing I think you can do is keep only healthy foods in the house, no chips, sodas, candy etc. When it’s there, it’s incredibly hard to not eat!

Post # 4
3860 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

You sound like you have some great ideas to be supportive! What we like to do when trying to eat healthier is eat a lean meat (chicken,  fish) and have 2 different vegetables with it instead if a veggie and a starch/ carb.  We also pre-cook chicken breasts so we have them for workweek lunches (usually take some chicken and cooked veggies).

We have substituted all ground beef with 99% lean ground turkey, and love making turkey meatloaf and turkey burgers with it (yum!). Spaghetti squash is great as well. If you go to allrecipes.com they have lots of great ideas!

If we are craving a sweer dessert a lot of times I will put some fresh berries in a martini glass (you know, to look fancy) and drizzle some flavored honey on it! Yum!

Another tip: use a slowcooker! It is SO easy and slow cookers magically make everything taste yummy. I will just put some chicken breasts, veggies and a couple squirts of BBQ or teriyaki sauce and it comes out amazing. (Chop veggies the night before so you can quickly put it together before work).

best of luck to you guys!!

Post # 5
1988 posts
Buzzing bee

@Equine_Breeder:  for what you describe it is a big weight loss plan. Have you tried visiting a nutritionist that tells him exactly how many calories on average he has been consuming vs how many he would need and make a very specific plan for him? I visit one and she’s great. I’ve learned a lot throughout the years and it allows me to still lose weight without having to go ninja and cut carbs out. I just learned the exact portions my body needs and I learned to rather than cut it out, have it in the right portions.

I would advise for you guys to try to make this as smooth for him or it will be very tough. Have one day at a week where he can eat everything he wants. Or stay on a strict plan Monday – Friday and then have a healthy breakfast and leave lunches and dinners open in the weekend for whatever he feels like. This will help with anxiety. If in middle of the week he feels lime giving up you can always remind him “babe let’s do this. Just two more days until the weekend and we get a break and you can have that pizza, burger, etc.” 

Have both sweet and salty snacks that are portion controled at hand. He should have snacks anyway and it helps if you have what your body is craving. For me that is pistachios for salty and prepacked greek yogurt with 1/4 cup Cheerios or 1/2 cup Cheerios with milk. The prepacked 100 calorie cookies Nabisco and other brands could work but they are very little food for the calories. Strawberries with whipped cream. In my case when I’m feeling super craving something sugary I’ll go for two things. A few squeezes out the bottle of chocolate whipped cream (bodybuilders do this lol. It’s mostly air) , or bittersweet chocolate chips that are used for baking. Since they are not packed with sugar you don’t really want to eat the whole bag. 

In the end, I would say don’t go for anything that he can’t sustain forever. It will discourage him and he might also lose weight but once he goes back to normal, the weight will come back and some more. Please make sure he is getting enough calories a day for his size and lifestyle. Otherwise he will get hungry. Very very hungry and it will be tough :-/

Post # 6
889 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

@Equine_Breeder:  I applaud you for your support, and your hubby for wanting to do this! ๐Ÿ™‚ One thing that we do is we work out together. Most days during the week, we’re on the same schedule so we have to get up at the same time anyway; but even on days when one of us is off and the other works, we still get up to accommodate the other so we don’t miss a workout together. Like this morning, Mr. H had to be at work at 7:45, and I’m off on weekends, but we both still got up at 5:30 for P90X.

I promise, doing it together makes it so much easier! If he does slip up and eat something “bad,” make sure you still support him. Tell him it’s okay, let’s keep going! Being encouraging is so crucial.

It looks like you’ve got some great ideas and have gotten some great suggestions about eating healthy; we like to plan meals together on the weekend for the week. We go grocery shopping together, and we always eat together and we make it fun not just a chore.

Also, once he has lost a lot of weight, he might still have some body issues. Mr. H used to be over 300lbs, but now he’s down to about 170. Go him! He’s really tall, so I mean he’s long and lean, and he’s got a lot of arm, leg and chest muscle tone. But his tummy (where all his weight used to be) was stretched and not super tight. He was so self conscious about it, but I still thought he looked amazing. I told him that, and now that we’ve been doing P90X and his tummy is starting to tighten up I vocalize that I notice it; it keeps him going and he gets excited.

I guess just don’t stop encouraging him when he loses those 100-125lbs; even when you (or others) might think he’s good, he’s lost weight so he should feel awesome, he might still see things that he wants fixed…even if he feels great about himself at that point!

Good for you guys–best of luck! ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 7
252 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Congrats on the plan! He’ll really benefit from having your support.


Personally, I think you should reconsider the juicing. Juicing is a relatively easy way to end up consuming way more calories than you normally would from fruit and veg. Better to eat the fruits and vegetables with their fiber than to drink them without.

Post # 8
283 posts
Helper bee

The one thing that I think I would encourage here is you doing things with him, versus nagging him to do things. Like your going to walk the dog with him, it gives him some company for the task and hopefully it won’t make him feel like it’s some punishment he has to go do alone, it’s kind of a cleaning house of your way of living to make it a little more healthy for both of you ๐Ÿ™‚

My dad is a little bit larger and has struggled with his weight, he has a cousin who has also struggled with his weight because of a heart problem and was clinically obese. After getting heart surgery, his cousin has dropped 50lbs, and is now feeling comfortable enough to be able to exercise regularly, so they have started going to the gym together. Maybe if he feels comfortable doing so, there might be an exercise-based hobby you two could pick up together, or some classes, maybe he might find a gym buddy or somebody else whose interest in losing weight and goals might align with his?

Honestly I think you have such a great attitude and he’s really fortunate, it’s sad when you see someone being rude and controlling to somebody trying to lose weight, and making them feel like this is some big punishment or that they have to be perfect all the time. Everything in moderation, and everything with a big spoonful of encouragement ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 9
286 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

My FH has lost over 100 pounds! It took him awhile but he did it! There is an app called sparkpeople he used constantly and it really helped him!

Post # 10
195 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

If he has a craving, don’t tell him he “can’t” eat it or something like that. Don’t doom him and make him think he is going to fail if he eats something he shouldn’t. I would encourage him to wait half an hour or so, drink some water, think about it, and if he really wants whatever it is (chips, candy, whatever) then eat a small portion and wait another half hour to think about it. 

When I was trying to lose weight if someone would have told me I couldn’t have something I would have gotten pissed. But if they encouraged me to think about it and wait a little while I might change my mind on my own. 


Post # 11
2510 posts
Sugar bee

@habibti:  I totally second this!


@Equine_Breeder:  Don’t make him feel guilty when he does end up “cheating” because we all will eventually. Just support him in taking control of it. The worst part about losing weight (to me at least) is the *food guilt* and someone making me feel worse about it never helps. So I try to just own that I messed up and get right back on track.

Not trying to imply that you WOULD make him feel bad at all, but some people even can even though they mean well.

Post # 12
893 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@Equine_Breeder:  My husband had the terrible habit of just drinking Juice. I started preparing fresh water with cucumber…mint leaves and lime…..hibiscous flowers….little by little he stopped the juice and now he drinks 0 calories 0 salt delicious plain water.

Also when he cheats or you cheat together on the diet, try to only do it for one meal

and lets say you go for Pizza….thin crust cheese pizza is better than bacon pizza.

Switch to turckey…..

Also a tip that has worked wonders with my husband is that I serve a lot of delicious salad veggies before carbs …. and there are no seconds for carbs for example

we each get a spoon of rice…that is all there is no more I did not prepare more so We cant have seconds.

Make every meal delicious and good looking. It will make everything easier. I would also suggest …if that is something that could interest you if you have a swimming pool or access to one….on weekends or weekdays to Walk around inside the pool while you talk about your days for an hour just walking will burn a lot lot lot of calories and it wont be heave on his knees.

Post # 14
594 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 1993

Check out my fitness pal. 

Post # 15
1366 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@Equine_Breeder:  Try to keep him away from temptation (remove crappy food in the house, avoid fast food places or restaurants where there aren’t great options.)  You don’t have to eat what he is eating but making it easy for him to eat well is a good way to support him.

Also – test and learn when it comes to juicing. I used to do it a lot (5 straight days of nothing but juice) since we have so many juicing places here but never lost any weight. But when I started eating way more veggies and cut out carbs & sugar I lost (and have kept off) 17 lbs (I’m 5’2″ so it made a big difference since I wasn’t that big to begin with).  It is also more satisfying – eating whole veggies rather than juiced ones. Also it takes a lot of fruit to make a large sized juice, so you end up with a lot of extra sugar that you normally wouldn’t have (unless you actually would eat 2 pears, 2 apples and a bunch of beets in one sitting.)

I will say – what’s great about juicing is what you don’t eat when you’re juicing.  You basically cut out process sugar, carbs, soy, dairy, legumes, (and ideally booze and coffee). But there are other ways to cut all that stuff out without being so extreme and you still feel satisfied.

Good luck!

Post # 15
481 posts
Helper bee

Hi OP, just wondering how the weight loss is going and if you have any new tips! 

My my husband is also a big guy (250-60) and I know he would love to lose 60-80 lbs, but he does more talking about it than moving towards it… It’s kind of hard for me, too (and maybe this is your situation?) because I’m pretty thin.  The main problem is that I allow treats and snacks without remembering that even though I’m not on a diet, he wants to be on one.

we are going to try something new, though – at dinner I’m going to serve him his plate with a decent portion and that will be all he gets. It sounds a little harsh, but it was his idea and I’m prettttty generous. I think i will also be in charge of dishing up snacks and treats, too. It really is an issue of portion control for us – I realized this when the tub of ice cream disappeared overnight.

I love him at his current size ( big dudes are tres attractive to me), but I really think he would be happier and feel healthier at a lower weight – I hope we can make some progress and that you’re making some, too!! :}

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