(Closed) how to tactfully ask people to attend the ceremony?

posted 5 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@daniellemc:  I think you send them an invitation. That’s your asking them to attend.  While I think it’s rude not to attend the ceremony, there is nothing you can really do about it (except maybe get new friends, which obviously isn’t a real solution). It’s really best throughout the planning process to accept things you cannot control and let them go.  They’ll only cause unnecessary stress and anxiety.

Post # 4
3210 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

@daniellemc:  I agree in that I find it rude to attend the reception without having gone to the main event, but I really don’t think there is a tactful way of tell your guests that they must attend. 

Also, I find that weddings will take up my entire day/night, or even weekend if I have to travel. If you have a ceremony in the morning or early afternoon, and the reception in the evening, some people really need to prioritize their time. They may not want to be rude, but they simply cannot give up that much time. Calling them out may be really uncomfortable.

Post # 5
8446 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@daniellemc:  You could put “it would mean so much to us for you to be present during our ceremony at _______________” or something similar.  Although, you can’t tell your guests it’s mandatory to attend your ceremony.  However, take my opinion with a grain of salt, I’m one of the ones that thinks the ceremony is the boring part.  I even told my guests that it didn’t matter if they were at the ceremony, as long as they were at the reception to party with us.

Post # 6
839 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@daniellemc:  All you can do is send an invitation. It’s up to your guests whether they want to attend both the ceremony and the reception. 

Post # 10
1603 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@daniellemc:  I honestly think that inviting them period implies you want them at the ceremony. Phrase it however you want, but if someone doesn’t want to go to the ceremony, they won’t. It might be better to spread it through word of mouth that it’s ESPECIALLY important to you that people come to the ceremony, but yeah.. I think people already know you want them to come if you invite them.

Post # 11
2183 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011 - Florida Aquarium

Do you have a big gap between the two? If there’s no gap (or limited), I would hope it’s common sense to attend both. We had the ceremony and reception in the same place, and everyone was there fore the ceremony. I whole-heartedly agree that the ceremony is the important part, and it’s beyond rude to skip it, if invited. 

Post # 12
4770 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@daniellemc:  could go all out and hire a bouncer to not let people in who were not at the ceremony.  IF you just started planning, I’d say have a Destination Wedding 🙂

Post # 13
10453 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

I don’t know that there’s really a way of saying this. The invitation implies both already. It would probably be more effective to make it quite convenient for your guests, like having the two venues really close together with no gap. 

Post # 14
8041 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@jessicadarling:  +1

I think it’s a bit fruitless to worry about wording.

Post # 15
9916 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

Do you have your invitations printed yet?  Invite them to the ceremony at the church, and on the invitations write, “Reception information will be provided following our wonderful ceremony.”  Boom.

Post # 16
1400 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

@peachacid:  I was just about to say the same thing! Give them ceremony information an let them know a reception will follow but dont say where 😉

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