(Closed) how to tactfully ask people to attend the ceremony?

posted 8 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 49
Member
5879 posts
Bee Keeper

@ImmaBee:  +1

I also stand by my answer. The truth is that if currently, within your circle you see a trend of people skipping the ceremony, chances are the same thing will happen to you. You can put whatever language you want on your wedding website, but I’d rather just manage my expections that people will ultimately do whatever they want.

I respect that it is important to you. In your favor, an hour between ceremony and reception is pretty standard. So I really dont think in the end you have much to worry about. Like a PP said I would prefer to have people there who truly want to be there and engaged in the process. 

Post # 50
Member
29 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@daniellemc:  I totally agree 🙂 I love the actual ceremony and seeing the groom all emotional and the bride walking down the aisle and blowing the bubbles at the end! Oh goodness, I just love it all!

Post # 51
Member
924 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

It was my experience that few people looked at the website (which sucked– I put so much time into it and it was awesome).  I agree with simply saying “reception to follow” on the invite and not mentioning the reception info until the ceremony (this was my plan when we thought we’d have 2 separate locations, because attending the ceremony was very important for me too).  That’s not a problem if they are close by and without a gap (its not like you’re saying– surprise!  You have to wait 5 hours or drive 300 miles for our reception).  For that one hour while you take photos, that should be the cocktail hour, so your guests will be able to partake in that while they wait for you.  If people want to call you to ask when the reception is, hopefully there will only be few of such calls.  Its not on you to make those calls, it will be on people to ask you.  And when having a one on one conversation, you can mention how important it is that they attend, answer any concerns they have that might make them want to skip it, etc.

Post # 52
Member
1413 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2000

@daniellemc:  It sucks that you have friends who would skip the ceremony.  That is the whole point of the wedding!  I had 190 people at my wedding and not one person skipped out (except for 2 who didn’t bother to RSVP but whatever…).  It’s just so rude.  If you don’t think they will show for the ceremony, it is unlikely they will bother going to your website. 

Anyway, just trying to help you not waste your precious time and energy.  Wedding planning is stressful as it is.

Post # 53
Member
1275 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@daniellemc:  If it’s your Fis family that you’re concerned about, maybe you should have HIM talk to them?

We are all understanding you perfectly fine, but that fact is telling people you want them at your ceremony after you’ve invited them to the ceremony is redundant.

Post # 54
Member
3 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I feel the same way bout people attending the reception but not the ceremony…that is one of the reasons we are doing our wedding on a boat.  We will be setting sail on the river before the ceremony starts, then who ever is there for the ceremony will be there for the reception.  We love the idea of the boat because we wanted a unique venue for both the ceremony and the reception, as well as the senic area the boat travels as some of our guests this will be their first time in MN.

Post # 55
Member
1890 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

I’d probably send a regular wedding invitation, with the date and time of the ceremony only.

Near the bottom, I’d probably say something like, “Reception to be held afterwards at ________.” Then I’d just have an announcement made following the ceremony about the location/time.

I feel like if there wasn’t a given time that the reception would start, it might encourage people to attend the ceremony so that they’d end up at the reception at roughly the same time as everyone else.

Post # 56
Member
476 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014 - South Bonson Pier & Community Centre

I’ve never heard of anyone not showing up for the ceremony – it’s my favourite part! Your wording sounds nice and unintrusive, though.

Post # 57
Member
1471 posts
Bumble bee

I don’t really think that there is a tactful way to hint at people attending the ceremony without actually explaining that it bothers you when people don’t attend the ceremony but attend the reception. I think it is assumed (at least for me) that you should attend the ceremony when you receive an invitation. I guess you can look at it in a different light. If those people that don’t want to attend are apparently going to be so bored that they can’t spend the short amount of time that a ceremony usually takes, then do you really want them to be there with you? I thoroughly enjoy wedding ceremonies!

Post # 58
Member
1132 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

“While it is important for us to celebrate our wonderful day with everyone at the receptioned we would be honored to share our vows to one another with all of our family and friends present at our ceremony”

Precise and to the point.

Post # 59
Member
1132 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Excuse all my typos….Its been a long morning.

Post # 61
Member
539 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@daniellemc:  

I think that is the best way to look at it. Honestly, you’ll be so caught up in everything going on during the ceremony you won’t notice who is there or not. 

One thing I thought of it maybe making the font for the ceremony on your invitation a bit larger? That might imply the importance of that aspect of the day without having to state it.

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