Post # 1
Oh man. So, I am planning to have my bachelorette in Philly. We’ll go out to dinner, get some drinks, and then go back to a hotel suite where we’ll drink pink champagne! Sounds awesome to me.
I want it to be just girls…but what I mean is girls without their significant others. So most of my friends are dating guys right now, but one is dating a woman. So how do I nicely tell her, your girlfriend is not allowed?
I don’t even have a really good reason for why not…she and her girlfriend make out all the time, like in the middle of conversations. My friend and her boyfriend do that, too, but it’s easy to say, “No boys allowed” to avoid that awkwardness. Another reason is to avoid drama: two of my friends who are dating guys and the one dating a girl…there is always drama when we’re all hanging out. And also I want to hang out with my friend, and not her girlfriend. You know how people are different when they’re with their girlfriends/boyfriends.
So how do I tell her she’s not allowed without sounding like a dick??
Post # 3
Hmm, this is tough. Could you talk to her privately and tell her you really want it to be your close friends, since they have been the ones supporting you your whole life? Mention that you’re excited to celebrate with her AND her girlfriend at your wedding, but you really wanted to keep the bachelorette with your close circle of friends?
Post # 4
Just be honest with her and say it’s a non couples night
Two of my friends are coming to my hen with their girlfriends, but I am good friends with all of them, so it would be weird for me to not have them all there, but in this case as you are closer to your friend, i think it’s ok to pull the ‘no couples card’
Post # 5
@abbie017: I agree with this. Tell her you want a small gathering of your close friends, no partners. It shouldn’t matter what the gender of her partner is if she’s not in your close circle.
Post # 6
@abbie017: @applecore: Both of those ideas sound good to me. Good luck!
Post # 7
Why not just say, “this weekend, it’s just us girls- no significant others!”
Post # 8
I was thinking of saying, “At dinner everyone can come, but then later it’s no couples!”
THAT SOUNDS SO AWFUL.
The people who will be left out are going to be upset. L’s boyfriend is super sensitive (which is why I don’t want him there!!!! I SUCK) and then K’s girlfriend is really young and can’t keep her tongue to herself. lol. But they are going to be like, “Why are you such a bitch???”
… Maybe I will say, “You must be at least 28 to attend my party.” haha.
If I talk to her privately, she will want to know why her girlfriend isn’t invited. And so I will say….??
Post # 9
@peachacid: you say, it’s just close friends. Honestly, I’d make the entire night couple-free, and not invite them to the dinner. It cuts out rhw awkwardness of saying “they can eat with us, but can’t hang out after,”
Post # 10
@abbie017: Yeah, that’s true.
“Hey, K, T can’t come cause it’s a couple free night.”
“What, P? You’re such a dick. I never get to see T because we don’t live in the same city anymore.”
“Well, I’d really like the night to be just us, and no partners. P is not bringing B, and L is leaving A at home. Even F is coming without J.”
I hate that my friends are different around their boyfriends/girlfriends. =(
Post # 11
@peachacid: If you want to be mature, I would plainly say, I didn’t invite so-and-so because they make out in front of everybody and that’s embarrassing to me. And it seems like you do it too, so I want to avoid that just for one night.
But easier said than done, right?
At least you are not doing it just because it’s another woman… the other couple are not gay..
Post # 12
@peachacid: I hear you. It’s always awkward, but sometimes, you just gotta tackle the awkwardness head-on.
I’d try it this way:
P: “Hey, K, I just wanted to make sure we’re on the same page. My bachelorette is going to be couple-free; I really wanted to spend my last big hoorah as a single lady with just my closest friends. I hope you understand!”
K: “But I want T to come because we don’t see each other anymore.”
P: “Sorry. I know how you feel, but this is my one shot at a bachelorette, you know? I understand if you want to leave earlier than the rest of get a chance to see T, but I do really want to keep the bachelorette with just the girls I’m super close to.”
Post # 13
@abbie017: Thanks. I hope this goes smoothly…
It’s not till March, anyway, so I don’t have to worry about it for a while!