(Closed) How to tactfully ask that my friend's GF not come??

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
12953 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Hmm, this is tough.  Could you talk to her privately and tell her you really want it to be your close friends, since they have been the ones supporting you your whole life?  Mention that you’re excited to celebrate with her AND her girlfriend at your wedding, but you really wanted to keep the bachelorette with your close circle of friends?

Post # 4
Member
345 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Just be honest with her and say it’s a non couples night

Two of my friends are coming to my hen with their girlfriends, but I am good friends with all of them, so it would be weird for me to not have them all there, but in this case as you are closer to your friend, i think it’s ok to pull the ‘no couples card’

Post # 5
Member
3963 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

@abbie017:  I agree with this.  Tell her you want a small gathering of your close friends, no partners. It shouldn’t matter what the gender of her partner is if she’s not in your close circle.

Post # 7
Member
344 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Why not just say, “this weekend, it’s just us girls- no significant others!”

Post # 9
Member
12953 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@peachacid:  you say, it’s just close friends.  Honestly, I’d make the entire night couple-free, and not invite them to the dinner. It cuts out rhw awkwardness of saying “they can eat with us, but can’t hang out after,”

Post # 11
Member
5428 posts
Bee Keeper

@peachacid:  If you want to be mature, I would plainly say, I didn’t invite so-and-so because they make out in front of everybody and that’s embarrassing to me. And it seems like you do it too, so I want to avoid that just for one night.

But easier said than done, right? Laughing

At least you are not doing it just because it’s another woman… the other couple are not gay..

Post # 12
Member
12953 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@peachacid:  I hear you.  It’s always awkward, but sometimes, you just gotta tackle the awkwardness head-on. 

I’d try it this way:

P: “Hey, K, I just wanted to make sure we’re on the same page.  My bachelorette is going to be couple-free; I really wanted to spend my last big hoorah as a single lady with just my closest friends.  I hope you understand!”

K: “But I want T to come because we don’t see each other anymore.”

P: “Sorry. I know how you feel, but this is my one shot at a bachelorette, you know?  I understand if you want to leave earlier than the rest of get a chance to see T, but I do really want to keep the bachelorette with just the girls I’m super close to.”

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