(Closed) How to tactfully invite B-list guest….

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
3175 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@speechgal44:  Well, since it sounds like she already knows she didn’t make the original cut (and I think most people could figure it out when they’re receiving an invite only 3 weeks in advance), I think you need to just be honest. Tell her that you’d love to have her there, and are sorry you didn’t get to invite her previously due to space constraints. Most people would be understanding, I would think.

Post # 5
Member
11351 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

According to Miss Manners, it is not an etiquette crime to have a “B” list, but the guest should never know he or she is on it. So, that’s what Miss Manners says about this issue.

However, based on my experience, there likely are people in your lives who would be thrilled to be asked to attend your wedding even at the last minute. 

I would simply be honest and say something along the lines of, “We would have loved to have included you from the beginnig, but, because we have such large families, we just were not able to invite as many of our friends as we would have liked to have been able to invite.  As it turns out, some of our extended family members are not able to attend, allowing us to to be able to extend some additional invitations to people who are important to us. We would be very honored to have you attend, if you happen not to have already made other plans for that date.”

Post # 6
Member
1460 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Maybe if he hand delivers the invite and just says that you all would be thrilled if she can attend and leave it at that.  If she says anything about not being invited originally (which she probably won’t) he can just smile at her and just tell her that he really hopes she can attend.  ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 8
Member
4194 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

We’re B-list guests for a wedding this Friday (ironically for a couple that was on *our* B-list, whom we didn’t end up inviting.) With this, and another wedding I was a B-list invite, the bride  explained that they had family who weren’t going to be able to attend, and they’d love to have me there. The way Brielle worded it is perfect.

For both of these weddings, I was delighted to get the invite- I wasn’t the least bit offended that it was “late.” If you keep it simple- “we had to invite extended family who have since declined, now we have space to invite more friends and we’d love to have you there”… how can any one fault you for that? ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 10
Member
504 posts
Busy bee

I wouldnt include the rsvp card. It’s not like you have a C list anyway. If she says something about not being invited he could always tactfully explain that you both had a lot of family that needed to be invited so you didnt hurt anyones feelings and now you’re so glad to be able to invite more friends that you want there.

Post # 12
Member
504 posts
Busy bee

Oh I didnt think of that. Hmmm

If the RSVP has a RSVP by date then I wouldnt include it. He could just ask her.

How awkward for you.

Post # 13
Member
1686 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I would just let him hand deliver the invitation with RSVP card, and if she questions the lateness, he can claim he didn’t give you her address. 

 

Post # 14
Member
11351 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

Could you take your RSVP card to FedEx-Kinkos or Staples, white out all of the “please respond by date” language, and have them make you a color copy on a similar piece of similarly colored card stock, then neatly cut it to be the same dimensions as your RSVP card and use that?

Post # 16
Member
503 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

he should pretend she was invited and ask her why she hasnt rsvpd yet? and say the invite must have gotten lost? it would be lying but its a white lie right lol

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