Post # 1
Ok so as you all know I’ve been with my wonderful SO for 5 years now. We’ve spoken about getting married and I know one of the main reasons we have waited this long is that he’s trying to get all his ducks in order before we get engaged and married. He is a man who works very hard and wants to be a provider–he has told me several times that he wants us to be financially independent when we get married so that we don’t have to rely on any family, which I agree with 100%. Now, up until now I haven’t tried to tell him that I’ve been saving up a lot of money for us too, simply because I don’t know how to tell him that without making him feel like less than a man–not that he thinks that way but you ladies get what I mean.
So basically I want to tell him that I have saved up a lot for us and that he isn’t going to be doing this on his own. How do you suggest I tell him this and should I tell him how much I’ve been saving too? I think if he knows that I have been saving it might even speed things along in terms of our engagement, but most of all I just want him to know that it isnt all on him and that I will be helping out as well. How do you ladies think I should approach this?
Post # 3
@Shirinjoon: Leave a bank statement out 🙂
Post # 4
@mwitter80: Well, that wouldn’t work since we don’t live together. I just want to tell him directly, but I don’t know the right words.
Post # 5
Next time you guys are talking about your future, call a financial meeting. I think its important to discuss your income, debts, etc.
Post # 6
Phrase it in terms of a partnership. Let him know he’s not alone, that you are together on this goal. Then you can talk generalities (types of accounts you have) and more specifics if he’s receptive (“I just want to let you know I put aside $X to save for a house each month. I’m excited because I have Y now saved up!”).
My boyfriend & I know roughly how much each other has in terms of retirement savings/regular savings/assets (his apt)/debt (my grad loans!), etc. I think we started off knowing generalities about types of accounts. We were just always pretty open about it. I actually remember being on a cruise together, one year in to the relationship, when we were talking more specifics of how much $ in each and every account for the first time.