- 3 years ago
- Wedding: June 2018
TLDR: I would really like help on how to talk to my Maid/Matron of Honor about Bachelorette planning. I’m worried that she hasn’t started and none of my BM’s seem to know what is going on, and have even asked me about it. How to I talk to her about it without seeming like a bridezilla control freak?
So, my Maid/Matron of Honor asked me like a month after her wedding last February when I would like my bachelorette party and asking her for details. I told her planning would need to wait until after my friend L’s wedding that coming September since L would be a bridesmaid in mine and I didn’t want to steal her thunder. Now September has past, and I’vestarted having conversations with my Maid/Matron of Honor, but apparently she hasn’t talked to my other bridesmaids at all about planning. I’m worried because she’s never been good with plans, at least with me. I really want to talk to her about getting my other bridesmaids involved and getting the process going, but I don’t want ot be pushy. But she hasn’t even cleared the dates with the Bridesmaids!
My other maids just seems confused as to what is going on. I don’t think she is taking the lead at all. I’m not sure what to say to her to get her started. told her what I wanted and to rally the troops after September. My SIL’s have offered to plan my bachelorette because I planned theirs, so if she doesn’t have time I just need to give them the word. My Future Sister-In-Law is chomping at the bit to get planning. My Fiance and his Bridesmaid or Best Man have started planning his stag night, and I’m wondering why my cousin went from being so gung ho about it to nothing.
I’m thinking that if they haven’t started planning by mid January, I might say something. By mid February , I might ask my SIL’s to step in and take the lead. I’m really nervous about my bachelorette party. I’ve planned a lot, and they’ve always been a hit. I actually have a bit f a reputation for throwing great parties. I’m worried I’ll be disappointed with my bachelorette party after having spent so much time planning great experiences for others. But I don’t want to overstep my bounds or be controlling. If I had it my way, I would plan the thing and pay for it myself, but that isn’t the tradition.
Another thing is, she keeps on pushing that I have my bachelorette party closer to her than me. I moved away after college, so we’re far apart. I live in Texas and she lives in southern Ontario Canada. A lot of my cousins live there, but my brothers and their wives don’t. She says it’s “easier for the family” But really it’s more convenient for her and her SIL’s. It would be easier for my SIL’s to fly in to Austin where I’m at. With my bridesmaids, I traveled for my friend L’s bachelorette, so she’ll fly for mine, one of them is finishing her PHD, so I’m paying for her plane ticket, and the other, my Future Sister-In-Law is going to be living with me when the bachelorette party comes. Not to mention I want my local girlfriends to be able to go. I’m flying for my wedding AND shower to make it easier on my family and bridal party. Plus I’m apart of a staff transfer at work, and none of my accrued PTO is transferring, so my vacation time is going to be tight.
It’s not really an issue of finances for her either. Her and her husband do very well and her wedding was very expensive. I’m trying my best o be budget conscious for my girls. As a comparison, the dress she asked me to buy was 250 dollars and hair and makeup where mandatory and cost me 175. My girls are paying 100 dollars for their dresses, got ot pick their own style, and hair and makeup and optional and only costs 40$. I flew in for her bachelorette, which my SIL’s weren’t even invited to. So I’m REALLY confused as to why she is pushing to have it close to home. She also isn’t TTC, she was supposed to start in September, but she decided to delay another year. So that isn’t an issue.