(Closed) How to teach son about Mommy's "no penis"

posted 4 years ago in Babies
Post # 16
Member
1663 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Post # 17
Member
1800 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

we Call it a giny.

be warned.. My toddler went to Childcare once when he was learning about this and said the following…

i have a little penis and dad has a big penis. Summer (sister) has a little giny and mum has a HUGE giny”

my husband thiught it was hilarious. Me, not so much.

Post # 18
Member
173 posts
Blushing bee

Definitely vagina. Why have him know the proper word for his parts and not for lady parts? My son is two and knows he has a penis. Knows mommy has a vagina, but sometimes still calls it ‘Mamis penis’ I correct him – but no big. 

Post # 19
Member
149 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

As everyone else has said: VAGIIIIIIIIIIIIIINA. Teach kids proper biological terms and you won’t be totally mortified when they eventually pull them out at an inappropriate time. I’m sure that he can easily see that men and women have different body parts (hello, boobs…) so you can just tell him that men and women have different body parts. It doesn’t have to be weird at all!

Post # 20
Member
1450 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016 - St. John\'s Lutheran Church

Call a spade a spade, my friend. 

“Fear of a name only increases fear of the thing itself.” – Albus Dumbledore

Post # 21
Member
333 posts
Helper bee

I totally agree with you on it sounding mature but I would just call it what it is ‘Vagina’. I wish my parents had done thos growing up, I was never really taught the real words (I just don’t think my parents thought about it, they were not conservative at all) and still to this day I have a difficult time talking about bodies. I get uncomfortable saying the words, even around friends when were joking around. As a PP stated, calling them cutesy names causes you to be embarassed and self concious which I definitely am 

Post # 22
Member
1776 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I think the interesting thing that many people are saying “call it what it is” but you are actually referring to the whole package, not just the vagina, so maybe vulva is actually a better choice?

Post # 23
Member
226 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

PLEASE say vulva.

1. What he sees IS the vulva. The vagina is internal.
2. To define the what organ defines women, “man is to penis and woman is to _” it’s difficult to do – the clitoris is for pleasure, the ovaries and uterus for life, the urethra for waste, etc. The vagina is a closed channel (not a “hole” to be filled) that is parted for sexual penetration and childbirth, and therefore the most “useful” feature of women to men throughout history, therefore it is how men define women, and it can be harmful to teach children, male and female, that women = vagina.

Post # 24
Member
1135 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

boys had a “wee wee” and girls had a “pee pee.” I grew up with those terms and I turned out just fine! 

Post # 25
Member
1421 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

We refer to it as a vulva or vagina for girls and a penis for boys although my 3yo also calls her vulva her “wees bum” or “front bum” (her choice of wording”) and she refers to her brother as having a “noodle doodle”!

Post # 26
Member
1888 posts
Buzzing bee

The idea of explaining a vagina as a “no penis” is problematic to me, as it positions women’s bodies in terms of what they lack compared to men. I get that kids like to compare things to themselves, but it’s important to distinguish that different /= inferior. We’ve fought too long against sexist ideology like “penis envy.”

Post # 27
Member
8584 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

peridot456:  

Absolutely , it  fills me with rage (still)  to hear  women’s  precious parts described as ‘not a penis’ grrrrr!

I can’t understand ( well I don’t want to understand is probably more correct) why the OP needs some sort of euphemistic word for them when the child clearly has the proper  term for penis  – and presumably  – testicles . Yes indeed vulva is the proper name , why not use it , saying the inside part is called a vagina .

Post # 28
Member
3611 posts
Sugar bee

Definitely use the word vagina like PPs said. Cutesy names for genitalia are so awful. I don’t think a penis or a vagina is any different than a table or a chair in the sense that they are all things that have proper names, and we should refer to them by those names.

Post # 29
Member
4536 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I get what ladies are saying by calling it a vulva but  I would just use vagina. It is easier and a more easily recognizable term.  I don’t hear the term vulva in real life often. I would just keep it simple. When a child is old enough and able to understand sexuality and the mechanics of it all then that is the time to go more in depth and explain.

As for the, shame aspect and negative connotations that have been discussed in this thread..if you are matter of fact and not embarrassed as a parent when discussing this stuff with your kids’ they will not associate it with anything negative or to be ‘ashamed’ of.

 

Post # 30
Member
4536 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

 

jessc27:  that is pretty funny!  it reminded me of a story told to me by my ‘school teacher’ cousin. A year one child got up and told the class during show and tell, that his mum got a new ‘vulva’. My cousin was a little shocked and her first thought was that the mother had gone in for some surgery like the resculpturing of her labia or something… Turns out the mum had gotten a new Volvo! 😉

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