Wow, this thread has grown over night with amazing out pouring of support, concern, guidance and so much more. I want to first say thank you to everyone who has posted, from the mothers, teachers, siblings, friends and concerned bees your insight into this matter has been truly unbelievable and rest assured I have taken everything you ladies said to heart. You’ve really made me take a hard look into this situation, made me re-evaluate my thoughts and you have given me the support/kick in the pants I needed to try and see things from this family’s point of view. I really didn’t realize the true nature of this situation and it has left me amazed.
I’ve talked with my fiance from last night and he also thanks the bees and that all of you gave your best opinions, your most helpful words. We’ve discussed this a little more last night and we’ve laid down a rough-draft game plan:
- My Fiance is going to talk to his sister and ask her what she feels comfortable doing and how she and her family would like to be apart of this wedding as guests.
- We are both going to respect her wishes and do as she would want.
A lot of you bees brought up a good point that she might not even want this daughter to come, so in the scheme of things this might not be such a big deal. If she does want her invited though we will work towards a peaceful, sensitive resolution to this and try and make this family (who are our friends) feel comfortable and respected. This may seem like a hard task, but it is one I am hopeful for since we are friends and soon to be family.
I’d also like to apologize to some bees in this thread that feel hurt, sad, upset, or offended from what I had originally posted. Clearly this is a world I am unfamiliar with, I said things that to others who have had to deal with this situation may seem rude and childish and for that I am truly sorry. Let me say again that was not my intention though some of you may have taken it that way and I am sorry, it is why I am glad I have run this through all of you to clean up my words, to learn how to handle this situation and so, so much more. Even the comments in here that were a little hurt by what I said I found helpful and constructive and please believe me when I say thanks to you and the others you have posted you are shaping this into an amazing guide for my fiance and I to use, to look over, to learn from and to keep learning from. It is my ultimate goal to stay good friends with this family and to become a loving, understanding sister-in-law to my soon to be extended family that I can help strengthen our relationships with one another. Please rest in comfort that you’ve helped me towards this goal.
A personal thank you to the mothers and siblings with special needs family members: Can I just take this special moment on the internet to say thank you for your heart felt comments and opinions? The fact you took this time to educate me on a sensitive subject and opened up your hearts has really touched me. What you all had to say was beautiful, perfect in response and the greatest lesson I will ever learn. I came here asking a wedding related question (so I thought) and learned a life lesson from you and I am in awe. Your posts are being held so close to my heart and your wisdom on this matter is what I am going to use as guidelines in communicating with my Future Sister-In-Law and the etiquette that surrounds this matter. Thank you. You’ve truly opened my eyes.
I’ll keep referring back to this thread with my fiance and together we’ll come up with a good way to handle this and what he can say to his sister. I truly believe we can find a happy middle ground and that through this and the help of the bees you all will have helped me strengthen this family! So one more time……THANK YOU!