Post # 1
I have a friend I’ve known for over ten years. We’ve lost touch a few times but now are in contact, she even had to move in with me for a bit when she fell on some hard times. Over the last two years she has started in on the stuff that made us have falling outs before-being hateful, rude behavior, and the like. She actually threw a temper tantrum that I went to spend the sumer with FH. She knows he is in the military and has to move around a lot, and I felt like she shouldn’t begrudge me the small amount of time he and I have together. I have been trying to extract her from my life slowly, but it’s difficult as we attend the same college and sometimes have classes together, and live in the same small town.
As soon as our engagement was announced, she posted on facebook how she was “calling dibs on MoH”. I ignored it, I feel like it’s very rude for people to automatically assume they are invited to a wedding or to be in a wedding party. I don’t want he in my wedding in any way, shape, or form, due to her behavior and the fact that she needs to be the center of attention at all times. I also worry that she will “retaliate”. I have not discussed wedding plans of any sort with her, but I don’t know how to say “I do not want you in my wedding at all”. Help?
Post # 3
Well first things first. Hide her comment on FB. That should give her a hint.
You have a long time before you really have to worry about this. Try to minimize contact and avoid talking about the wedding with her. If she brings up being in your wedding party, just tell her that you really appreciate her interest and enthusiasm, and it’s sweet of her to volunteer. However, you’re keeping it small and, for obvious reasons, you prefer to include friends who have been really supportive of your relationship with your Fiance. Tell her honestly that it really bothered you that she acted like she had some sort of claim over you to rival your FI’s, and that it made you look at your friendship in a new light. See what she says.
I wouldn’t tell her right now that you aren’t planning to invite her. That’s just asking for needless drama. Avoid contact and hopefully by the time you send out invitations she will have figured it out. Just b/c you attend the same school/live in the same town doesn’t mean you can’t be busy “finishing the reading” or “looking over your notes” any time she tries to engage you in conversation before class, or “on your way to meet with a professor” when she runs into you on campus.
Post # 4
I just wouldn’t mention ANYTHING about the wedding to her and plan as you intend…to NOT invite her. If you really don’t want her there, you shouldn’t feel pressured about the situation. If your mind is made up, let it be!
Post # 5
I agree with PPs. Just don’t talk to her about the wedding and simply don’t invite her. Hide her comments on FB if she makes anymore.