(Closed) How to tell a good friend they arent invited to our wedding?

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
9057 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

If they don’t know the two friends that are invited, I’d just tell them that you’ve limited the wedding to immediate family.

Post # 4
698 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@Notcool:  I can’t really offer any help (yet) because I am in the same situation. We are having 14 total… I’m not even inviting my grandma… I’m inviting my BF and my FI is inviting 3 of his (I have more family tho)… initially we were ONLY going to have immediate family, so my other good friends still think that’s why they’re not invited, but now it’s simply that if I invite one then I have to invite another and so on. So once I figure out a way to tell my other two good friends that they’re not invited but my BF is I’ll let you know.

Post # 5
207 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@Notcool:  one of my bridesmaids is having a similarly small ceremony. I know I am not invited. It doesn’t bother me. Maybe it really won’t bother your friend as much as you’re thinking it will?

Post # 7
3288 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

Can you do something else afterward–a celebration with friends?

We are having an intimate wedding (17 guests!), but we’re having a “friend party” a few weeks later to celebrate with our dear friends. Basically, I just told our close friends as soon as possible that they wouldn’t be coming to the wedding, and followed it up with the invitation to the friend party celebrating our marriage.

I don’t think anyone’s been too offended yet, especially since we’re paying for their accommodations for a 5-day weekend in a tropical vacation spot, lol.

Post # 10
345 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@Notcool:  What’s a nibling? 

We are having a “celebration” after our intimate wedding to invite extended family and family friends that we cannot fit on our guest list. Over 200 people will be invited to that celebration… and it seems like each of them was angry and/or disappointed that they would not be invited to the wedding. When I tell them that we are having a tiny wedding with just immediate family and best friends, they generally understand. I feel like some of them, especially family, do not believe my reasoning. But they will when they see the wedding video and our teeny tiny ceremony venue. You can’t please everyone! 

If you go that route, in conversations with those people, focus on the celebration and treat it with the same excitement you would the reception. 

Post # 11
730 posts
Busy bee

@MlleDarcy:  I looked it up and it seems to be a shorter way of saying “nieces and nephews.”

Post # 14
8747 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Ask your one friend who is invited to please not to say or post anything. Then, don’t lie, but tell your friend that this is going to be  an even more  intimate wedding than you originally conveyed – not even aunts and uncles.  

Post # 15
404 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I think if you tell her that there are family members that arent even invited she wont feel so left out?

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