- 5 years ago
So, I have a weird problem. For most of my adult life, I’ve been fairly certain that I wasn’t interested in kids. I got married at 25, to my husband (who is 6 years older than me). When we got married, we spoke about kids. He was sorta kinda keen, but happy to wait a few years, and I was sorta kinda not, but happy to see what happened and how we felt in a few years.
Roll on 2.5 years, and at last conversation, he was leaning towards probably not having kids, moving onto my page, and we moved on, agreeing to keep talking about it.
Now, however, I have found myself thinking about kids all the time. Quite a few of my friends are pregnant, and I’ve started to feel like this is maybe something I want. But I don’t know how to tell if this is just FOMO (fear of missing out), or if I genuinely want a child. Or also, do I want a cute, cuddly baby, or do I want a small person, who requires care, attention, love, and money.
The last problem, and the reason I haven’t brought this up with my husband yet, is this. He has a great-on-paper job, that pays well, and has great benefits. He holds up the lions share of our income. But, he is unhappy. He has been unhappy for years, but the job market is not great. He is so incredibly unhappy, all I want for him is to leave that job, and figure something else out (starting a business, or anything, just to help him be happy). But, I also know that if he does that, we will barely be able to support ourselves on my paltry salary, let alone this baby of my imagination.
If I say something now, I think he will agree with me, and we will try to have a baby. But that will mean that leaving his job will become more and more impossible.
Do I really want a baby? Is it worth it, to sacrifice my husband’s happiness, for a mythical, imaginary person? Or do I just forget about it, and be sensible. I don’t know what to do.