(Closed) how to tell coworker there not invited?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
351 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Well if your date is correct, she has a year to possibly forget she even invited herself. I had two co-workers invite themselves but I am very firm that co-workers are co-workers and I leave it at that. I work in a hospital with plenty of feisty women so I’ve learned my lesson haha. I just smile and say “oh yeah?” And leave it at that. If the wedding comes and they question where their invite is at I’ve planned on just saying that the guest list only allowed for family and close family friends. If they get offended then that’s on them, I suppose. 

Post # 4
Member
7739 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

The answer depends on how many coworkers you’re inviting. If you’re inviting none (or hardly any), a safe line is something like, “It’s not a large wedding, family and close friends only, so I’m not inviting people from work”.

If you’re inviting most coworkers but not her it’s a bit harder, but still try not to make the answer about her, e.g. “We could only invite a few friends, so I’m only inviting the girls who I’ve worked closely with for a year or more”, something like that

Post # 5
Member
1832 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Your not invited we are on a limited budget with just family and our closet friends, sorry.

Post # 7
Member
404 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Fiance and I work together in a small company of about 25-30 people! I feel your pain!

I have told everyone from the start that its a small wedding and we dont have room to invite many people. That being said we have invited 7 people from work lol There is one guy that has been going around saying “I would be surprised if I wasnt invited” … Well he isnt invited, mostly because I really dislike him. He also happens to be a horrible drunk! I am hoping when he doesnt get an invite he will clue in!

What we have deicded on doing is having a engagment/wedding bash for the work people. We are going to reserve a section of a resturant. Buy a few rounds of appies and drinks and hope that doesnt leave anyone feeling left out.

 

Post # 8
Member
1805 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Omg I hate when people do this! I had a few “friends” say how much they can wait to come to the wedding.. I’m only inviting close friends so that’s not happening. The closer it got to the date I think they figured out they’re not invited lol I also had a bunch of my aunts friends assume they were invited, I pulled my aunt aside and said in no way are they invited, she was upset but I explained that at $100 a person I’m not inviting 10 of her closest friends… AND I’m not even close with my aunt! Eventually she realized she had to tell them they weren’t invited. I can’t ever imagine assuming I was invited to a wedding unless I was super close with the bride or groom! if she keeps going closer to the date just say its a family event 

Post # 9
Member
1431 posts
Bumble bee

@HisNightOwl2014:  are other coworkers invited? If not you could just say.. “I know you have been excited for the wedding but after much discussion by Fiance and I we just decided we can’t invite coworkers due to space and finances. I am really sorry this was hard for me to tell you because I don’t want to hurt you and hope things will be ok between us.”

Post # 11
Member
351 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@HisNightOwl2014:  I hope it works out good for you! And I’m always shocked when a person just invites themselves. It’s like “really??!?”

Post # 13
Member
83 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I need help on this issue too… thing is I LOVE my work mates… and this girl and I used to be super close but we fell out after her and her Fiance were awful drunks on a night out and we ended up getting kicked out of a club because of their behaviour..she kicked off and was reallly rude… honestly i have never been so humiliated… not even a taxi would take them! Anyway I am inviting everyone from my work apart from 3…. her included…. the other 2 are antisocial so they really dont care but she keeps on and on about it… plus she is getting married 5 months after me so she keeps trying to talk weddings with me. My Fiance absolutley hates her but at the end of the day I will have to go back and work with her… everyone else is like ‘oh its just her’… but its my wedding, and im only getting one! But i know i will look like a total B*#CH if i dont, she will twist things and make work a nightmare… what do I do?Cry

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