(Closed) How to tell friend they arent MOH, or a BM???

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
2711 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Honestly, I wouldn’t say anything unless they ask.  I think it’s rude to point out that they aren’t invited to be a Bridal Party member.  If they do ask, just say you wanted to keep it small or that you wanted family only.

Post # 4
Member
4194 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

I’d wait until you have the ring, and have set the date before you worry about this. You don’t have to ask your bridal party right away- things could change in your friendship with her that would take care of this for you.

Post # 5
Member
1736 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@RunsWithBears:  This is what I thought too.

It would be mean-spirited to pull her aside to just tell her “you are not a Bridesmaid.” In reality, the only communications regarding Bridesmaid or Best Man status you need to have are with the girls that you are formally asking to stand beside you on the big day! She’ll figure it out on her own and if she is a polite and well-mannered woman, she will have the good sense not to bring it up or make you feel bad as a result of it! If she point-blank asks you, you do not have to illustrate your choice by telling her what’s she’s failed to do, but rather you simply say you are keeping the wedding small (or an excuse similar). ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 7
Member
887 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@RunsWithBears:  yes, this. People need to be told that they ARE in the wedding party, not that they aren’t. Assuming that they are in the wedding party is their mistake, not yours.

Post # 9
Member
128 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Maybe you could tell her that it was hard decision. (It must have been if you are feeling this way now about not including her in the Bridal Party.) There were so many ladies you could ask to stand next to you and there were even more ladies besides her that you couldnt ask either. Then let her know that is special to you and that you couldn’t imagine getting married without her witnessing. Is that too much info to tell her? Personally, I think that the added “others you couldnt ask”  may help if someone explained this to me. Or if someone said they only used family as to not have hurt feelings that may help as well.

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