(Closed) How to tell friends no bridal party?

posted 4 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
67 posts
Worker bee

Are you fairly close with these friends ? I think it’s odd to assume that someone automatically qualifies to be part of a wedding party, especially after only the two week engagement of a couple. 

If all of your girlfriends are close to one another why not have a lunch in? Just an informal get together to talk and then casually bring it up. 

I would tell your fairly close friends that you are not having a wedding party, but would love for them to participate in wedding dress shopping, wedding talk, etc. 

 

Post # 3
Member
285 posts
Helper bee

I didn’t have a bridal party. Instead, I asked my Boyfriend or Best Friend to be my witness on the marriage contract. So she was called during the ceremony by the officiant to sign the paper (my husband asked the same of his best friend). She also planned a little bachlorette party (it was something really small) and was there to help out day of. She was 100% understanding. 

Post # 4
Member
6882 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

They ask about the wedding, among the rest of your vision, you discuss general size, etc.  “oh, it’s just going to be me and groom, we’re wanting to keep it small, less of a strain on our friends/family” or whatever.  There’s no need to tiptoe around it, it is what it is.  I doubt they’ll be upset with you, beyond mild disappointment if they really enjoy being bridesmaids as a general rule.

Post # 5
Member
47343 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Rather than plan on how you will raise this specific issue, the next time any one them asks about how your planning is going, tell them.” We haven’t made a lot of decisions but we have decided that we envision a small, intimate, and non-traditional celebration of our union with just the two of us, no wedding party”.

Post # 7
Member
1309 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I just made general statements when anyone asked about the wedding / wedding planning. “We want something simple, no attendants or whatever, small wedding”

Post # 9
Member
67 posts
Worker bee

I’ve heard of the bride still inviting her best friends to get ready with her, even if there was no bridal party. Its a great way to honor your friends and have a little bit of fun before the wedding. 

Post # 10
Member
39 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2016

We are not having a bridal party either. We are also just trying to keep it simple-needless to say one certain family member has made comments on HER disappointment-that’s her problem. 

Anyway-i am just having sister and his brother. I too want my friend be a part of it, so I’m including her by inviting her to be there when I’m getting hair & make up done and invited her to all the family events. She doesn’t have to be in it to be a part of it! Another idea would be to ask them to be the witness, do a reading or say a few words. 

Post # 13
Member
1309 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

My friends didn’t need any special “honor” – they were glad to be there.  Most people dont’ like being props in weddings anyhow.

Post # 14
Member
33 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2016

View original reply
wedding2017:  I don’t have a bridal party – I have my maid of honor and I’m not even sure who Fiance has chosen for his best man if he’s chosen at all.  But one of the ways I was able to get away with it and not hurt anyone’s feelings was by having a very small wedding.  I also have a very small family (5 people, 2-3 are probably too sick to come) so I said something along the lines of ‘you’re more than half my guest list, if I have all 8 of you in my bridal party my side will have literally 2-3 family members and your plus ones.’    This might not help for your situation, but making it something practical or rational I think makes people understand it’s not personal.  I also think that having everyone out of the loop keeps hurt or jealous feelings from happening within the group dynamic versus cherry picking some and not others.  And having every single one of your friends in the bridal party is just ridiculous anyway!

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