(Closed) How to tell friends no bridal party?

posted 4 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 16
Member
862 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

At the beginning of planning we were pretty sure we didn’t want a wedding party, and over the next couple of months one friend in particular kept asking (I was her MoH the year before) and my answers gradually went from “I don’t think I’m having any bridesmaids” to “we’re definitely not having a wedding party but you can speak during the ceremony if you want”. 

All of the people who would’ve been in the wedding party were invited to get ready with us, and then spoke during the ceremony. We didn’t have a specific officiant, each ‘part’ of the ceremony was read by a different person. It flowed much better than you might expect and it was so meaningful to have them actively involved in the ceremony. Added bonus that they all dressed themselves and looked great! (If I’d had bridesmaids instead I know the one would have argued about not having  matching dresses and I really didn’t want that).

Post # 17
Member
232 posts
Helper bee

I am glad this question has come up because we just made the decision to not have a bridal party. We may have one person stand with us on both sides and those will be children. I would love to honor my friends some way but haven’t thought of anything. I will definitely invite them to get ready with me.

Post # 18
Member
2178 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I think that as long as you are over like age 25 most girls will be relieved to find out that they don’t have to be in the wedding cause honestly it just costs so much (even if it is a special honor…its usually a pricey one too!)

I think the fact that you aren’t having anymore makes it a lot easier since its not like you decided to specifically leave these girls out or you picked two friends and ditched the third…. if no one is in the wedding then there really can’t be hurt feelings IMO

Post # 19
Member
564 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

I have my sister as my Maid/Matron of Honor and that’s it. I just told people when they asked if I was having a wedding party. Most understand – is honestly way better to just say you’re not having one than to have to say you’re having one but not including a specific friend. In fact some were like “man, that’s the way to go”. My FIs sisters may be disappointed but that’s it. The other obvious choice didn’t have a wedding party either and I was actually defacto Maid/Matron of Honor for her so did all of the work without the title so she can’t complain!

We may have the sisters do readings. We’re inviting the other girl to the rehearsal dinner even tho it’s otherwise immediate family only (she is my FIs cousin and she and her husband introduced us). So we’ll find ways to honor them where we can. 

Post # 20
Member
564 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

Oh yeah and my Fiance is inviting his buddies to get ready with him. So he can have the fun without the wedding party. It’s a Friday but I think at least a few will do it. I’ll probably invite my SILs too. 

Post # 22
Member
2897 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

I’m not engaged yet but I’m not planning on having a bridal party either.  My boyfriend and I have talked about this at length and it’s one of those things where if I/he ask friend1 to be in the bridal party, then we have to ask friends 2, 3, and 4 in order to not have hurt feelings (at least on my side, the guys could care less).  My friends already know we are only planning on having a Maid/Matron of Honor and best man and they’re perfectly fine with it.

Post # 23
Member
135 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

We’re not having one really, either. My sister is my maid of honor and my cousin is my bridesmaid. My fiancé has two brothers and they will both stand as best man. 2 and 2, that’s it… all family. 

My fiancé and I had the discussion of no bridal party the day we got engaged, actually. We had a Christmas party to go to later on in the day and a lot of his friends were there. On the car ride home we were discussing who out of those friends he’d even want and it was tough. I was like “what if it was just my sister and my cousin and your brothers and that’s it?” And he was like “…. I LIKE IT!!” And we went with it. 

His guy friends couldn’t care less. As long as there’s a bachelor party, they’re fine, LOL. Two or three of my good friends I actually had a conversation with. During casual conversations about my plans I just laid it out there and said we decided to keep it small and that our plans are to have a few friends participate in the church ceremony. They understood completely. Like others have said, most people commend us for keeping it simple and making everyone on the same playing field. Less pressure, less organizing, less chaos, less responsibility… everyone can just enjoy.

I’ll probably invite a few girls to be there when I get ready. Same with my fiancé and his guy friends. We also plan on having our DJ recognize each of our sets of college friends during the reception…. like play a song and start it off by saying all graduates from so and so university, please come to the dance floor with the groom/bride. 

 

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