(Closed) How to tell future MIL to start saving money to buy dress

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
14656 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Uhhh..  I’m sorry, but you dont.  Her money, her dress… you kinda dont really have any say in it without sounding rude and nosey imo.

Post # 4
1235 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@jmares:  Yes. Her finances are NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. Any comment made by you to her would be extremely rude and disrespectful. Regardless of what she wears, she will be at your wedding and in your pictures..you do NOT have the right to say anything about her finances.

Post # 4
2651 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Yikes! I would never DREAM of telling my Mother-In-Law what she should wear!  That in itself is looking for issues…..

As for the money thing…. again poor form… sorry.

Post # 5
7291 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

I wouldn’t go there…….

I think the nature of your view of her is rather harsh and also it would be rude to tell someone to “start saving”. If you are so particular and you know of her financial need, then perhaps you could purchase it for her if you have specifics you want to happen and won’t on there own.

Post # 6
1844 posts
Buzzing bee

I think expecting her to coordinate with your colours is fine, that is not unheard of. But only she and your family know the real financial situation. I have a few family members who are completely broke and I understand they might show up to my wedding in a thrift store dress or in something I have seen them wear 20 times, its okay, I would rather have them there and eating for the next few days instead of scrimping and saving for a dress they might not need. 

If she isn’t really broke and just doesn’t want to spend them money maybe you can go about it this way… Tell her that you would like to take her dress shopping on _____ weekend a couple weeks from now and tell her that you are going to start looking for ideas so you know which store to go to. Ask her what kind of length she would want, what kind of fabric she likes, and what kind of price range she is looking in. Maybe if it is just another aspect of the dress that you are asking about she will get the hint. 


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