- 6 years ago
- Wedding: April 2013
My Boyfriend or Best Friend and I are planning to marry soon. He has two kids (a girl, 5 and a boy 8). They are great kids-smart, funny and sweet. We’ve gotten along great for about 10 months (dating over a year met the kids after a few months). They like me, i see them often (BF has 50% custody), we do things together, if they don’t see me for a couple of weeks they ask if I’m coming over or can they come see me. All is well.
My question is how do we tell them we’re getting married? He sorta wanted us to tell them together, but I thought it was best he discusses it with them first. I thought this because I don’t want then to have to censor their comments or questions because I’m there. Basically I think they’d feel free-er to express their feelings if its just their father. I would certainly come over/in later for them to ask me whatever they want to ask.
BACKGROUND: we’ve been telling the kids I’m daddy’s friend. I’m around alot but we dont show any affection (nothing more than hugging/holding hands) in front of them and theyre young so im not sure theyve figured out we’re more than that. Recently, He’s sorta dropped hints like “would you like it is she was here to cook us dinner every night?”, “how would you like for her to be here more?” Etc.. The daughter says yes, the son is a little indifferent. He also had a general talk (not using me as an example) about stepparents while the kids were watching the Rugrats movie. They are young but they are bright so I’m not sure how much they can understand. We all get along right now and he’s thinking that will confine but I just want to make sure the transition is easy for them. Not this woman is moving in and messing up our lives
Stepparents! Parents! Kids whose parents married when you were young! How did you handle this? Any advice? Should he tell the begore proposing? after? Should they good a gift (necklace, bracelet, etc???)
BONUS: we’re eloping (just us, the kids and our parents) and will involve the kids basically as flower girl and ring bearer. What other ways can we include them in the whole process (not just the wedding)?