(Closed) How to tell guests I am having a buffet..?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 17
2622 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Doesnt matter.

I wouldnt assume buffet if there werent a choice because I have been to weddings where I chose what I would eat when I got there.

But even it I was “surprised” by a buffet, so what? Its still fooooooood 🙂

Post # 18
95 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

It never occurred to me to tell people that we are having a buffet.  Buffets are yummy… and mine is MUCH more delicious than any plated dinner that I have been to.  They are getting fed… that’s enough!


Post # 19
603 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@trckyvicki:  I am putting on my invite (and also did on Save The Date)…a light buffet supper followed by some life music & dancing  I personally did this so that people didnt expect some big fancy extravaganza…

Post # 20
11736 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I always assume if there’s no meal choice on the rsvp that it’s buffett – and that’s usually correct. 25% of the time or so, you get there and realize they’re having a plated seat down meal that you choose off the menu when you get there. 

Post # 21
8469 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

Why do you feel the need to mention that? People should be happy they are being fed regardless of what one would prefer. 

Post # 22
12244 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

I think they’ll figure it out when the see the buffet line! And I don’t know ANYONE who has a problem with buffets!

Post # 23
2143 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I’ve never been told ahead of time if I was attending a wedding with a buffet (and the majority of them have been). I’m also curious why you think they would need to know ahead of time.

Post # 24
9050 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

I don’t think it really matters.  There’s no real preparation required by them besides standing up to get their food.  They certainly don’t need 6 weeks notice, and if I wasn’t asked a menu choice, I’d probably assume buffet as well.

FWIW I left a copy of the buffet menu at the tables for people to to review in advance, and marked each dish really well.  I think that helped move the line along quickly that people could plan before they got up there (I hate when you load up on salad because I’m afraid there might not be enough other dishes I’m willing to eat later on) and didn’t have to have a “what do you think this is? conversation at the buffet.

Post # 25
1022 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@trckyvicki:  no need to tell them.

Post # 26
10450 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

I don’t think there is any reason to tell them. 

Post # 28
3182 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’ve never been told ahead of time if a buffet was being served. 

Post # 29
814 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

Well I’d be confused but that’s because buffets are unheard of where I live. It’s literally always a plated meal.

Having said that, I don’t see why it matters if the guests know or not?

Post # 30
10635 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

I agree with PPs, but if you want you could put it on your website.  That also might be helpful for someone with severe allergies so they can request a plate ahead of time.  Buffets can be bad for cross-contaimination.

Post # 31
268 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

In my invite I had a little card with the link so they could RSVP.  I mentioned on the card that we would be having a buffet and to please leave a note of any allergy when they RSVP’d so I could let the venue know ahead of time.


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