(Closed) How to tell him not to propose on my birthday?

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

@doglover123:  Depends how soon your birthday is and how soon you want him to propose!

I definitely made it clear to my husband that there would be no passing off my e-ring as a birthday present, and that I fully expected two separate ocassions (in a serious/joking way).

Bday sept 5, proposal oct 9 🙂

Post # 4
Member
8472 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

I wouldn’t say a thing.. He will want to ask you when he feels comfortable.. It’s not easy for a guy to do this.. they get nervous so accept it for whenever it happens.

Post # 5
Member
1093 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

If it’s what you want and would prefer a seperate day I would casually say “One of my co-workers got engaged on her birthday last week. I congratulated her and thought to myself… You know, I think I’d want a seperate special day rather than my birthday. What do you feel like eating for dinner”? Keep it casual, bring up the subject and move on to the next.

Post # 6
Member
545 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

@Ill Be Mrs B:  that’s a great way to say it.

It’s a toughie though, as much as i just want my SO to propose, doing it on my birthday makes me think like he’s taking the easy way out and “killing two birds with one stone” type of deal. I’d still say yes though.

Post # 7
Member
3092 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@SapphireSun:  I also had my “off limit days” including Valentine’s Day, Christmas, and most likely my birthday but I can’t remember.  We wanna celebrate all of these things and need them spread out a little.  I think it’s a good thing to be able to talk about the things you want/need together…even if it’s when not to propose. 

The Fiance is here and he says it’s fine and good to let em know.  He says the proposal is a special day and of course your birthday is a special day so he may just be thinking it would be the ultimate…but letting him know you want them on diff days is important for him to know.  He def wants to get it right and make you feel super special.

Post # 8
Member
370 posts
Helper bee

I would just let him do it when he wants to do it. I know my SO has told me he would never propose on a holiday or birthday because its so cliche and expected but to be honest I wouldn’t mind at all.

Post # 9
Member
646 posts
Busy bee

I think BDs and holidays are off limits for proposing. These are already special days…your engagement day should also have its special day. That being said, would I have been terribly upset if SO proposed on my BD last week….nope!!! I think I would have gotten over it!!

Either way, enjoy your BD and possible engagement 🙂

Post # 10
Member
6597 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

Does it REALLY matter when he does it?

Wouldn’t it make your birthday more special?

Don’t you want the proposal to be special and come from the heart no matter when he does it?

If this is something you are really worried about then tell him but just realize it could extend your timeline!

Additionally, once you are married the day you became engaged is pretty insignificant (ours passes every year without us even realizing) so it’s not like a long standing celebrated day!

Post # 11
Member
194 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

My Fiance proposed on my bday! It was wonderful! It made my birthday even more amazing!!! The pp is right. After ur married it doesn’t matter anyway! But I’ll always remember my 27th birthday was the best one yet!

Post # 12
Member
323 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I told my b/f that I didn’t want a birthday (Dec 17th) or Christmas proposal. I wanted another special day to celebrate in the year! He proposed on the beach in Dominican on May 27th. 

Afterwards, I contemplated if It would have been earlier, had I not said anything to him..but in the end it was an amazing proposal! 😀

Post # 13
Member
114 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I accidentally made what was planned to be a birthday proposal turn into a State Fair Proposal (that I loved, and I will love going there every year and being able to show our future kids where he asked me). 

 

I did this by inviting my entire family to my birthday dinner! I am glad it had its own special day and didn’t happen in a restaurant that doesn’t mean anything special to us. 

Post # 14
Member
1141 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I think you should let him do it the way and when he wants. This day means something to him as well and it’s a lot for a guy to build up the courage anyway. I don’t think it’s really fair to suggest he’s consciously making it easy on himself. He may feel it’s a special day as it’s the day you were born. Just shift the way you look at it.

Post # 15
Member
340 posts
Helper bee

I would say something like this (jokingly) “I know you are proposing on my bday, now that I spoiled your big plans you are going to have to surprise me a different day :). I love surprises and just watch I will figure out your next one so you better be a little more sneaky next time!”

Post # 16
Member
5670 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

Just tell him. Or tell him a story about x who was proposed to on her bday/holiday and you thought it was terrible lol. I told Darling Husband he could not propose on vacation, since I couldn’t tell my older relatives that we went away together, no ballgames, and no holidays.

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