How to tell my co worker thanks but no thanks when I've already agreed to it?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 16
2922 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 1996

Two suggestions:

1. “The more I’ve thought about it, the more I realize I really hate surprises, even ‘exciting’ ones that, as you’ve assured me, don’t involve someone trying to sell me something. So unless you want to tell me now what it is you want to meet with me about, I’m going to pass.”

2. Go to the meeting. As soon as she mentions selling you life insurance, stand up and say, “You told me you weren’t going to try selling me anything. I don’t like being lied to, and I’m certainly not going to buy anything from someone so dishonest. I’d suggest you rethink your sales methods.” Leave.

Post # 17
1537 posts
Bumble bee

This is beyond weird and would make me super uncomfortable. I would send her a text saying you’re not interested in whatever business opportunity she’s trying to pitch. If she keeps pestering, I’d ignore her and wouldn’t even try to be coy about it. She’s trying to trick people who aren’t brave enough to say no, and that’s bullshit.

Post # 18
627 posts
Busy bee

I’d be direct and text back “Hi – what is the purpose of this meeting?” If she won’t tell you directly, just say no thanks. Like PPs I don’t think you should meet her under these circumstances.

Post # 19
288 posts
Helper bee

Daisy_Mae :  Ahh ok – I’m a UK bee and we don’t really have similar things here to do with insurance. There are a lot of beauty product / protein powder pyramid schemes though. 

OP if you can’t avoid meeting her, you could turn the convo that way anyway and then embarass her out of doing it again to anyone else, ask really personal financial questions and about her health and whether she needs the insurance etc. It’s not the nicest thing to do (at all) but she isn’t playing fair with you either. Sometimes a tit for tat approach works. 

Post # 20
8835 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

People make things so much harder than they have to be. “make her tell you what it’s about” “embarass her” “go to the meeting then make a big dramatic holier-than-thou statement and walk out” … Who has the time and energy for all this?

“I’m not interested” — repeat maybe 5 times, and you’re done. So freaking easy.

Post # 21
12119 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

Someone should really report her to HR for this. She knows all this is inappropriate which is why she will only do it outside the office. It doesn’t make it any more acceptable.

Without saying who told you, or how you found out, you can tell her that based on her description of something exciting she’s “starting” and needs help with, you suspect this is some kind of marketing opportunity and that you are not interested. 


Post # 22
1890 posts
Buzzing bee

You’re going to have to be direct, because people in these schemes are trained to keep pestering you and ignore soft no’s. I’d just say that you’ve thought about it and you’re not interested in being a part of any new projects or businesses right now and unless she can tell you what it is, you’re out.

You are not going to be the only person to turn her down, remember that.

Post # 23
972 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Personally, I’d just tell her the truth. I’d ask the other coworker to get on board if possible. But I would literally say I had been intrigued and curious but then the vagueness made me very uncomfortable and I asked around and found out it was her trying to involve me in an insurance selling scheme. Then I’d say that I found that insulting that she was being deceptive and giving me a false impression of this being something that I took as a friendly outreach. And I’m not interested and if anyone asks me about it at work I will be honest with them, too. 

Post # 24
4910 posts
Honey bee

leamelly :  Just tell her you’re busy and can’t. I once had someone so this to me and I thought it was a potential job. I was pretty annoyed and ignored future contacts from this person. He wanted to sell me life insurance and I told him no thanks. He kept on and I had to ignore him. I’ll periodically get emails about it still, but that’s a big email blast and it goes right in my trash email.

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