- 6 years ago
- Wedding: June 2014
My SO and I are not yet officially engaged – but he has bought the ring and I know the engagement is coming.
We’ve been friends for about 8 years but only recently started dating. We’ve been dating for about 4 months. But we’ve just clicked. Instantaneous. We are honest and open, want the same things, have the sam sense of humor, and are so in love.
Although we’re both young (turning 23 this year), we are both incredibly mature for our ages. He has been working steadily since he was 16, lived on his own since he was 17, and has a great financial and personal record.
I have never truly felt my age – I’m really responsible and live by myself (my dad helps pay my rent since I’m finishing up my BA in December). Most of my friends are older and more mature. I work part-time while in school. I live a pretty settled and responsible life.
When the time comes that I do get engaged, my question is how to tell my dad. Since my mom died 2 years ago, he has been a bit protective of me. My parents weren’t married and my dad isn’t the type to believe in long-term marriage. He also has never been the kind of father to tell me NOT to do something – sticking instead to letting me learn the lesson on my own. But I am afraid that he will speak up for something as serious as marriage.
I’m terrified that he won’t be happy for me. I’m terrified that he will think I am making the wrong decision, rushing into to it, and completely hate the idea – which honestly, will hurt. I want him to trust my judgement (as he generally does) and be happy for me. Because even though I’ll still be engaged and get married, despite his approval, knowing that my daddy is there (especially since my mom isn’t) means the world to me.
Also, add in the financial aspect. Right now, my dad has been helping to financially support me so I can finish school. As my teaching credential program starts in January, he has agreed to help me through that. If he decides that, since I’m engaged, I no longer need financial support, then my SO has agreed to fill in. Things will be tight, but our budget can handle it.
So the question is… how do I tell him? He is a long distance truck driver and rarely home so doing it in person would be difficult unless I hide it for a few weeks (which I don’t want to do). What words can I use to gently break the news to him? Anyone else have any personal tips to add?