(Closed) How to tell my extended family I'm engaged

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
50 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

If you aren’t particulary close to them but there’s a get together around christmas make up a card with the two of you in christmas hats and hand it out at the get together. Then you can have a quick chat as you hand them out and get back to christmas. Or if there is a group email sent out to organise the time and location, contact the organiser and get them to attach it to the email.

Post # 5
443 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@ElyseD:  Yeah… I probably wouldn’t say anything. It’s been four months, I’m assuming the really important people already know. If someone else brings it up then awesome.

I let my parents handle the families –  I would have found it so weird calling up people I see maybe once a year to anounce it. To me it’s kind of “look at me” behaviour – which is fine with people that you’re close to and interact with regularly but not so cool with people you don’t really have a relationship with.

Post # 7
814 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

Relative: ElyseD, how have things been?

You: Great! Fiance and I got engaged recently which was really exciting.


Done. Most people will ask some variation of “how have things been?” (even if they don’t really care), otherwise just wear your ring and if it comes up, it comes up.

Post # 8
50 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I’ve dealt with my family and their bad behavior by avoiding it all as much as I was able to growing up. This year and next I am taking a different stance, if they want to make horrible and awkward remarks I will call them on it and/or make it obvious that it was awkward. 

“Are you getting married now because you got knocked up?”

“Wow that was really an awkward and rude thing to say, We got married because we love each other. Why did you get married?”

If the awkwardness really bothers you just don’t say anything at all until you decide to send out the invitations. All the extra effort of engagement shoots, save the dates etc are making weddings even bigger productions than they need to be now, so why not keep the correspondence really simple and leave it until the wedding?

Post # 11
343 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@ElyseD:  Have they ever met him/would they have known you were in a relationship? If not, you risk causing more drama – you’ll be wrongfooting them as soon as you walk through the door and I think you’d have to be prepared for the reaction to be shock rather than delight! I’d just introduce him with his name and let them get to know him a bit first.

Post # 13
35 posts
  • Wedding: March 2013

If you’re not super close to the extended family, like you stated. I see no big deal with just telling them the way photogestelle said. That’s a perfectly appropriate way to announce your engagement to people you rarely speak to. Try not to overthink it. Maybe some of your hesitation is with the loss of your mom too (so sorry about that, hope you are okay), perhaps your emotions are elevated because of that but take note: many people announce engagements exactly the way other posters have commented on. It’s not weird to mention it in that type of setting. Personally, I think many of them will enjoy hearing from you, first hand, that you’re engaged, rather than seeing it on FB.

Let us know how it goes!

Post # 14
1649 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

If anyone gives you any trouble just shrug it off. Even though you haven’t been a couple for too long you’ve known your fiance for a while. I think just telling them when they ask how you’ve been would be a good way to go. And the most important thing to remember is that you have your dad on your side. It may not be his side of the family, but his opinion counts more than the opinions of people you see once or twice a year.

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