- 5 years ago
- Wedding: February 2014
Firstly, thank you for reading this and offering your advice. Please don’t send rude replies, I know this is a touchy subject and that is why I am asking for help.
I asked one of my best friends (I have 4) to be my Maid/Matron of Honor. When I asked her, I let her know flat out that I know this title has a lot of responsibilities and there is a cost factor. She told me not to worry, she is coming into some money and will save it and she will be there for me when ever I needed her.
This was about a year ago. In that time she has become preggo 🙂 (so happy for her) she will have had the baby before the wedding. But her boyfriend also got hurt at work and lost his job. They are now struggling to make their bills. I know she isnt going to have the desposible income to plan the batchlorette and the shower. I know that coming up with the money for a dress is going to be tough enough.
I love her so much and I would never ask her to step down as the Maid/Matron of Honor, but I also know that at this time in her life she needs to focus on her family and the new baby.
My dilema is how do I let her know without hurting her feelings that I am doing to ask one of the other bridemaids to step up as a Matron of honor.
I feel that I should give the honor of this title to the girl who will be planning everything and putting a lot of money into my wedding should know that I appriciate everything she has done.
Please let me know what you think and what I should do, and again please dont reply with mean and nasty coments. I am not a bridezilla, I am not selfish, but I do believe that this day is about me and the groom and I dont want to stress or hurt anyone.
Edit: I know how this sounds. But no matter how YOU say it, weddings are always about money. It sucks but it is true. To tell me that is unfair makes me sound like a horrible person, which I am not!!!!
Im not expecting her to put out a fortune, not at all. But no matter how you look at it, even a low key Pajama Party Batchlorette will cost money.
I have even discussed this with my mom bc I knew that she couldnt afford it, we talked about just doing a shower and it is planned together. But even that is going to have costs!
I have always tried to be fair to everyone bc I know how hard it is. I am a Maid/Matron of Honor for one of my friends wedding in June and for the shower Im making the little gifts for everyone, it was not expected, but it is how I wanted to contribute to her day. Same with the Batchlorette, it is a pay your own way dinner and drinks out. Again not all the cost on the Maid/Matron of Honor but there is still a cost!
also the dress is going to be a cost, it is a winter wedding so we have to have long dresses, and as I am looking for dresses, I cant find anything i like for under $100.00 the average is $150.
So again to be reprimanded for the truth sucks, but I knew it was going to happen.