(Closed) How to tell my parents we want to elope?

posted 6 years ago in Elopement
Post # 3
2442 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

When you return from your elopement say “We eloped.”  I don’t think you’re supposed to tell folks in advance.  You don’t need anyone’s approval anyway.

I think it is selfish of your friend to think your wedding should be planned based onwhat she wants.  If she is truly your friend, she will be okay with whatever you want for your wedding.  

Post # 4
7609 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

If they won’t travel a half hour to attend your wedding the answer to your question is simple: you don’t!  You two should just go ahead and get married without telling them.  Invite your best friends to be witnesses if you want, or just go by yourselves.  Don’t include anyone who will ultimately rain on your parade or make your wedding about themselves.  Good luck!

Post # 5
62 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@hunnysgethitched:  They won’t travel a half hour? Really? I have to drive almost that just to go to work. I know the other side still has to travel further, and the elopement still sounds like a great idea. I just wanted to comment on how ludicrous is sounds that they won’t drive a half hour…

Post # 6
2603 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

An elopement is generally thought of as going off and doing it in secret. 

It’s nice that your friend wants to be there, but she’s doing what any good friend would do–tell you she wants to be there! I doubt she’d be seriously offended if it was just the two of you and not her–that woudl pull her into “Single White Female” territory. 

Post # 7
6124 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

“His family lives 4 hrs. away and doesn’t travel. My family lives a half hour away and doesn’t travel.”

Goodness that’s nothing!  My family is 1500 miles away and his is 800 miles away.  I can see not being travellers then but it’s just a few hours driving!

“And when we told my mom we were engaged she just said “Oh. Ok.” and started talking about how cute my nephew was.”

This sounds just like my mom really!  She doesn’t have the capacity to be happy for someone else really.  Are you thinking she’ll be upset?  Doesn’t sound like it!

Frankly, I think you really don’t have to worry about anyone else.  If your friend really wants to be there, maybe she can be one of your witnesses.  Otherwise, couldn’t you just go out to dinner with her when you get back for a celebration dinner?

I had one friend that said I’d better invite her to this wedding (I had no guests with my first married either).  I thought of her words, but in the end if it’s simpler and less stress to NOT invite anyone then I have to go with that and a good friend would understand.


Elopement ususally means going away secretly without telling anyone. But you don’t have to do it like that.  Everyone will know when we are going away.

Post # 8
2031 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

My family didn’t have a huge reaction when Fiance and I got engaged either, which I found odd at first, but they’re totally fine and supportive now.  An engagement could, theoretically, last a long time so I think most ‘outsiders’ (not the engaged couple) start getting more excited closer to the day.  

I agree, if no one wants to travel at all for your wedding, then elope and tell them after.  It sounds like you both want it this way, it’s your day, good for you!  Go for it, send announcements when you return, and if they want you to have a big party…then at least your actual wedding was special for the two of you.

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