(Closed) How to tell my SO I found the perfect center stone!

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 4
Member
6256 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

@DeathByDesign:  +1

This is what I was going to suggest.

If not, what’s wrong with just saying “Guess what, honey! I found the perfect stone for my ring!” Are you worried about him feeling pressured?

Post # 5
Member
5405 posts
Bee Keeper

I don’t know your waiting story so it’s hard to know if you’re trying to avoid talking about it or if you’re afraid to scare him or what. With my SO, I would just say hey I found the perfect stone, and he would be super relieved because we have been looking at rings since February! I’ve changed my mind a million times, but that’s not the point. What are you concerned about? That might help us give better advice. 

Post # 6
Member
8042 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@Sapphire-Dreamer:  It really depends on timing. Maybe he already has the ring. Maybe he’s in the process of custom designing one. Maybe he won’t be ready for any of this for six months.

I’d probably send the link/info to my SO and then hope for the best. I know that it’s hard letting something you love go, but you never know what’s in the works. This perfect stone came along, but if it’s the wrong time, then every time you look at it, you’ll feel a bit of dread if you know he felt pressured into it. There will be other stones. There are other sapphires in the sea.

I would not buy it for yourself to give to him. Unless you’re very untraditional and know he won’t mind, it probably is best to leave the buying of the ring to him (even if you give him all the specs!).

 

Post # 8
Member
5958 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

@Sapphire-Dreamer:  This is where cunning wit always comes in handy, the trick with Mr. 99 is to set something out where he will see it, but certainly not where I show it to him….I want an Amora Gem BAD, we have friends in NZ so it’s totally possible, but I can’t just give him the info, what did I do?  Left the browser open on the Amora site, of course!  He’ll figure the rest out, I’m sure….if you two share a computer, is pays to leave that exact webpage open for him to see, for one he’ll look, second, he won’t want to close it because he’ll know you were looking and third…people are naturally nosey and that’s a fact.

 

Good luck!

Post # 9
Member
8042 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@Sapphire-Dreamer:  Sounds like it’ll happen soon!! I would definitely give him an idea of what you want. Like I said, send him the link… maybe don’t phrase it as ‘OMG NEED TO BUY NOW!!!!!!!!!’ but more like ‘This is the sort of stone I’d love for my ring’.

That might work?

Post # 10
Member
6256 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

@Sapphire-Dreamer:  Look at it this way: If you buy that sapphire for yourself now, that’s that much more money he can spend on the setting.

I am probably going to end up buying my center stone, but I ended up with a setting that was a little over $5k, so I definitely don’t feel cheated!

Post # 12
Member
5657 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

@Sapphire-Dreamer:  Well then I think the best you can do is leave it out somewhere for him to find. If you want him to do all the “proposal” stuff than you kinda have to let him do it at his own speed lol.

Post # 13
Member
2743 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Disney

Where are you getting an untreated stone that cheap? Is it untreated or just natural? Maybe this is where I’m slipping that could make the difference in the cost. This makes me a little nervous, does it come with a certificate? Sapphires are typically graded like diamonds for clarity. Do they have a return policy? Do you have a jeweler ready to assess the stone when it arrives? These are big things to consider. If you dont know what you are looking at its easy to get screwed. I shipped two rubies back a couple of years ago because they were not as advertised and i knew when i saw them they were also lab created. I was pizzed to say the least but I got refunded :).

 

Editted to add that sapphires dont always photo the colors they are. Blues are a little less likely to play this game than say a purple or green but just know that this can happen depending on lighting when it was photographed.

Post # 16
Member
868 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@Sapphire-Dreamer:  Oh, Saph, in the words of my therapist, “Can you trust him with this? Why don’t you try trusting him with this.” You ARE right, they are not going to run out of stones. He doesn’t need this handed to him, if he has to work hard to get you this ring, then he’ll be even prouder of himself. Make sure that your best girl friend has the stone’s info in case he asks. Or you can do one of the indirect things maybe, like leaving it up on the computer? But I would shy away from emailing it to him, and I am going though this EXACT thing because I’ve found a ring I love. Just my 2cents!

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