(Closed) How to tell people we're scaling down (they're not invited)

posted 8 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
31 posts

I wouldn’t mention a wedding to anyone you aren’t inviting. Also, if you are on any social media sites, I wouldn’t mention it on there to avoid anyone asking when and where it is. And if anyone asks, just say you are having an intimate wedding with only close family in attendance. If anyone gets mad or hurt, they will get over it. Weddings are expensive these days and you shouldn’t go into debt just to please everyone with an invitation.


Post # 5
2706 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

@solidarity:  If you haven’t sent STDs to people IMO you don’t need to tell them they’re not invited.  

If you’ve told someone in conversation that they’ll be invited I’d just tell them you had to cancel your plans and are doing an intimate wedding instead to lessen the cost.

Post # 7
225 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

We have a similar problem.  Not only are we paying for the wedding ourself, and it’s getting expensive… but, the venue only holds 130 people.  We’ve been engaged for a year now, so our wedding has come up in conversation at family gatherings.  We’ve just told people we are planning something very intimate, and that the venue can only hold so many people.  We didn’t send out Save the Dates, either.  I would just be very vague and invite who you can invite.  I doubt you will have anyone bold enough to ask if they are invited, and if they do, that’s their bad.

Post # 8
9168 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

If you haven’t sent STDs or invites then you’re under no obligation to tell them anything outside of general conversation about your event.


Post # 9
3372 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

We’re having a small wedding, but there were people that were super excited for me and I got the vibe that they assumed they would be invited. I was usually proactive and mentioned that “we’re having a really small wedding, it’ll mostly just be our families.” I feel like this has worked well and allowed me to avoid any awkward or hurtful moments

Post # 11
7813 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@solidarity:  You don’t have to formally tell anyone. Just invite the folks you want to, and if anyone asks, then you can give your explanation (though you really don’t owe anyone an explanation). It makes zero sense to go into debt for a wedding, or to push your “real” goals (like a house or investment portfolio) on the backburner for a wedding.

You didn’t send save the dates, and all you did was announce your engagemet. That doesn’t guarantee an invitation.

Post # 12
5092 posts
Bee Keeper

@solidarity:  Maybe there is a place you just haven’t thought of/found?  If you want me to do some searches PM me with your area. 🙂

Post # 13
870 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@solidarity:  The same exact thing happened to me…I told people they’d be invited, and several months later had to scale back. I never sent STDs so I was told that I didn’t really need to notify people that the plans had changed. The only time I told anyone was if they specifically asked. Otherwise, I never made any type of announcements.

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