Post # 1
We never sent out save-the-dates, but we did notify a bunch of people that we’re getting married. I cannot for the life of me figure out how to have a reception that we can afford, so I’m thinking we’re going to need to scale the whole thing back to just parents, siblings, maybe a few aunts and a few friends. This makes me sad, but what can you do?
I’m wondering about a tactful way to tell people that we’re doing this.
Post # 3
I wouldn’t mention a wedding to anyone you aren’t inviting. Also, if you are on any social media sites, I wouldn’t mention it on there to avoid anyone asking when and where it is. And if anyone asks, just say you are having an intimate wedding with only close family in attendance. If anyone gets mad or hurt, they will get over it. Weddings are expensive these days and you shouldn’t go into debt just to please everyone with an invitation.
Post # 4
@solidarity: What is it that you really want? Can you do that?
Post # 5
- Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall
@solidarity: If you haven’t sent STDs to people IMO you don’t need to tell them they’re not invited.
If you’ve told someone in conversation that they’ll be invited I’d just tell them you had to cancel your plans and are doing an intimate wedding instead to lessen the cost.
Post # 6
@CityBride2013: That was basically my thought. That people will understand, and if they don’t, oh well.
Post # 7
We have a similar problem. Not only are we paying for the wedding ourself, and it’s getting expensive… but, the venue only holds 130 people. We’ve been engaged for a year now, so our wedding has come up in conversation at family gatherings. We’ve just told people we are planning something very intimate, and that the venue can only hold so many people. We didn’t send out Save the Dates, either. I would just be very vague and invite who you can invite. I doubt you will have anyone bold enough to ask if they are invited, and if they do, that’s their bad.
Post # 8
If you haven’t sent STDs or invites then you’re under no obligation to tell them anything outside of general conversation about your event.
Post # 9
We’re having a small wedding, but there were people that were super excited for me and I got the vibe that they assumed they would be invited. I was usually proactive and mentioned that “we’re having a really small wedding, it’ll mostly just be our families.” I feel like this has worked well and allowed me to avoid any awkward or hurtful moments
Post # 10
@creativeplannertobee: We’d really like to have a party at a restaurant with maybe 75 people. I’m not finding anything in our price range. Nobody we know has a backyard and the area we’re getting married in is not a place where you’d want to use a park or anything like that.
So I don;t see many options, really. And, frankly, it’s giving me a headache. I’m sad we won’t be able to celebrate how we’d like, but that’s life.
Post # 11
@solidarity: You don’t have to formally tell anyone. Just invite the folks you want to, and if anyone asks, then you can give your explanation (though you really don’t owe anyone an explanation). It makes zero sense to go into debt for a wedding, or to push your “real” goals (like a house or investment portfolio) on the backburner for a wedding.
You didn’t send save the dates, and all you did was announce your engagemet. That doesn’t guarantee an invitation.
Post # 12
@solidarity: Maybe there is a place you just haven’t thought of/found? If you want me to do some searches PM me with your area. 🙂
Post # 13
@solidarity: The same exact thing happened to me…I told people they’d be invited, and several months later had to scale back. I never sent STDs so I was told that I didn’t really need to notify people that the plans had changed. The only time I told anyone was if they specifically asked. Otherwise, I never made any type of announcements.