(Closed) How to tell SO I DONT like cathedral set rings….

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
9675 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

Your first link isn’t working so I can’t compare the two.

I am confused by your description of a cathedral setting…because in those the main diamond is higher up than the surrounding stones (look at the side view).

But anyway…if you loved the first one better I would just tell him you really loved the first one better.  I don’t see a problem with telling him that.  You’re going to be wearing it the rest of your life, might as well get the one you like better.

Post # 4
1748 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Fi would’ve gotten me a three stone ring if I had never said anything and I just said, “I don’t want that.” And that was it.

Post # 5
299 posts
Helper bee

@penguinbee:  Go onto Blue nile and pull up pictures of the rings. Show him examples of what you don’t like. They had profile views of the setting as well as top views so he can get a good idea of what it is you’re talking about.

Post # 6
5886 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

You are going to wear the ring *forever*, go ahead and tell him what you like and don’t like. Imagine you were going to buy him something he really wanted (insert large ticket item here–car, boat, motorcycle, computer). And you bought him something kinda like what he wanted, but not really. Would he be happy? Would you be  happy knowing that it wasn’t exactly what he wanted?

Post # 8
5400 posts
Bee Keeper

I’m confused. If you’re openly shopping and discussing it, why not just say you don’t like it? If you’re not “afraid” to bring it up (which I find totally silly) then you have no reason to not just show him exactly what you do and don’t like. 

Post # 9
8882 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I’d just tell him.  If you can’t be honest with your Fiance, who can you be honest with? I’m sure he’d appreciate the honesty.

Post # 10
8695 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

I agree with the PP. I opened this thread thinking he was doing it all on his own (the ring shopping). However, that’s not the case and you have gone with him. I would just tell him. I don’t think it would hurt his feelings. After all this is your SO who you are making plans to spend your life with. You should be open enough to tell him if you don’t like it.

Post # 11
3830 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I looked at the ring you love and i can see what you mean. You like a ring with a dramatic height different from the side stones. so tell your SO that. Honesty is the best policy BEFORE he makes a purchase. 

Post # 12
2298 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

Maybe rephrase it…..say that you don’t like rings where the diamond sticks up SO FAR, and compare the two side by side. I am picky too and have had to physically show my S.O. things I don’t like alongside the stuff I do in a jewelry store. It worked.

Post # 13
4575 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@penguinbee:  let him know how you feel about it, it seems like you are have a say on the subject, so why not? try talking to him, you are gonna see this ring everyday, pretty much for the rest of your life, so try to get what you like…GL

Post # 15
780 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

See, I really feel like an ering is something the guy NEEDS to somehow include his girl on.  Whether that be popping into a jewelers, showing her possibilities online or just discussing this on the couch while watching reality shows or whatever.  

To me, there is absolutely nothing wrong with just saying to him, “Look, I know we both have been hinting that we’re going to take the next step soon, and I’m sort of particular about the ering and I feel like you absolutely want me to be happy so can we just take 10 minutes to look at a few settings I’d love?”  Nothing wrong with this convo.  

My guy works 12 hour days,  he is so totally the guy that does not know shit about diamonds, settings, but he came out and said “What do you like, I need help here and the ring is all about you, so help me.”  He knows that he’s getting me for the rest of his life, to be by his side, cook, laugh, go on trips with, heal him when he’s sick, so DUDE BETTER HAVE INCLUDED ME.  No, lol!  But, yes, he better.  

It’ll work out.  Let us know how things turn out?  

Post # 16
1784 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Show him the side view of the ring and say “See those bits that stick up and kind of make triangles?  Those don’t do it for me.”

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