(Closed) How to tell the bride you can't be a bridesmaid?

posted 4 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
1119 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

Wow a wedding party of 30 that is a lot! I would just say you appreciate her thinking of you but at this time you don’t feel you could be the bridesmaid she deserves or something like that. I hardly think she will notice as she has many others in the wedding party to worry about. 

Post # 3
2180 posts
Buzzing bee

Fuck that noise. The bridge to that abusive social circle was in cinders already, I wouldn’t bother busting out the extinguisher now for a ‘friend’ that still keeps that kind of toxic company. If not making the wedding ends your friendship, well, doesn’t sound like it was all that great for you to begin with. Your health comes first, and supporting your partner comes second–keeping company with abusive people for a day for the sake of one buddy’s ego doesn’t even make the damn list.

“Hi Amy,

I’m so honored that you chose me as a member of your bridal party! Unfortunately, life has thrown some unexpected things my way and I won’t be able to make the trip to Kansas City in October. I’m so sorry I won’t be able to stand up at your wedding and I hope you understand. I miss you and love you and I’m so happy for you and Brad and the amazing future you will have together. 




Post # 5
1011 posts
Bumble bee

sashabaron:  I was about to reply, then saw Speck_ reply and decided she said it for me. If it were me and someone was declining for whatever reason, such as what you said, or even something like they just couldn’t make the trip, financial problems, etc, I would just want them to say something like that or rather “thank you so much for asking, but due to circumstances, I won’t be able to do it. I appreciate your offer” (always sandwich it… say the good thing, then the bad thing, then finish up with the good 🙂 ) make sure you emphasise you can’t make it, so she doesn’t just think its about being able to be IN it. (unless you want to attend). I only say that, because a close friend of mine had/has some financial issues, and if she were to decline, I would want to know if she were declining just being in it, or being their period. No need to tell me anything she didnt’ want to share, but just enough so I would know the either/or. 

Hope that helps! 

Post # 6
223 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Speck_:  Well said. There’s absolutely no way you should consider going to this wedding, OP.

Post # 7
2968 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I don’t have anything better than the other ladies have already said but my two cents is, just say ‘Thank you so much for asking me to be a part of your wedding, but I am unable to make it so I will have to decline’

 You don’t owe them any explanation, you can just say no. 

Post # 8
594 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

They’re having THIRTY people in the wedding party? If they’re including everyone they’ve ever met, I’m sure they’ll be cool with you declining.

Post # 9
8859 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper


So funny, ‘everyone they’ve ever met’. Sounds mad to me btw OP. Best out of it I think.

The topic ‘How to tell the bride you can't be a bridesmaid?’ is closed to new replies.

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