(Closed) How to tell the bride you're not paying for makeup

posted 9 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 17
Member
1094 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World

While I think the cost of makeup being professionally done is okay for a bride to spend on herself (if it’s in the budget), it is a lot to expect a bridesmaid to pay that much.  If she is dictating hair, makeup, nails, etc. on top of the dress, I believe she should pay for it.  I am paying about that much for my own makeup as a bride and the price is the same for the bridesmaids.  I told them about it but never expected them to foot the bill for it (and I can’t afford to pay if for everyone).  So, they will do their own makeup and my baby sister (also a BM) will be doing their eye makeup (she likes that stuff, lol).

I think it’s perfectly find to call up your friend and tell her you cannot swing it and will be doing your own makeup.  🙂

Post # 19
Member
5317 posts
Bee Keeper

“I can’t afford my makeup professionally done. I’m going to do it myself.”

I dislike it when brides just assume bridesmaids will pay for things, so I feel your pain.

Post # 21
Member
1953 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@melundie:  Just tell her you dont feel comfortable having someone else do your makeup.  Although, I’m curious,  had you already agreed to have the makeup and hair done? If so I think your stuck doing so. I asked my girls if they wanted to have thos things done at their cost or do it themselves,  if one of them decided to change their mind after it’s already booked making me have to couh up money for theirs when they aren’t even habing it done I would be pissed. These things have to be booked pretty far in advance, and not all places allow changes to the booking. 

If you already agreed to it, then just suck it up.I

Post # 22
Member
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Bridesmaids should never pay for hair and make up if they don’t want it. If the bride wants it for them then she should pay for it. Simple as that.

Post # 24
Member
253 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@melundie:  

wow,she got guts,i would tell her im sorry but im doing it myself like i did for my wedding,i just cant afford it right now.

i would never tell my maids what they should have done,if i want a certain look,like hair up/down i will ask if they could do that,but do their own hair,and if they dont want to,its would be cool with me.the only thing i might ask will be to have a flower in their hair,that i will buy.

i dont care how they were their hair or make up or nails,but i do hope they put in the effort on those things to look good my wedding day.but they are free to do what they want i could not imagine telling them they need to get it done.

Post # 25
Member
253 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@melundie:  

i even told my maids when we went to pick out a dress.they can pick out any dress they want,as long as its in the color i want and you all have to agree on the dress.i also said i do not want them spending more then $60 that there are quite a few pretty dress on sale in that price range.well they picked out a $150 dress,but they did that on their own,i would never have asked them to spend that much on a dress though.

i would just be very upset if i were you.i think you ought to call her instead of the text or email so nothing comes across the wrong way and just say something like i got your email,i am just unable to pay for those things,i spent so much already and im going to do my hair and makeup myself like i did at my wedding,i just wanted to let you know so you didnt set up an appoinment for me.

Post # 26
Member
189 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

BooRadley has the perfect response! As a bride I would not be offended or mad or anything over this. That is a lot to spend for a Bridesmaid or Best Man. Also, can you do your own mani/pedi? that could save you some money too. nobody is really going to be looking at the Bridesmaid or Best Man toes?

Post # 27
Member
234 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I disagree with a lot of previous posters, I would NOT say you can’t afford it. Saying you can’t afford it is basically saying that’s a totally warranted request, unfortunately I don’t have enough money but otherwise I would be completely OK with shelling out 85$ for make-up I don’t want.


Be straight forward but firm – thanks for the option but I’d prefer to do my own make-up so count me out. I’d also do this as a ‘reply to all’ because I bet some other BMs will quickly back you up.

Post # 28
Member
698 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I agree that I wouldn’t pay it. I’m having a hard enough time convincing myself to pay for my own makeup artist. Most people aren’t as frugal as I am, or as lavish as your friend is. I would put it this way:

Bride,

I’m sorry to disappoint you love but paying for a makeup artist is a luxury I just can’t afford right now. I’m doing my best to have your back with the wedding, and you know I want everything to be as beautiful as you do, but I’m confident that will still happen with me doing my own makeup. Of course I’ll do a trial run to make sure that my version is as close to yours as possible. Could you tell me a bit more about what you were picturing?

<3

Bridesmaid

Post # 29
Member
3292 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Whoa! I can’t believe she’s asking you to pay that much for makeup on top of hair and everything else! Yikes. I always thought that if makeup/hair were required, the bride paid. If you have to pay, it’s 100% optional. There’s no way I’d pay that much for makeup, either. I didn’t even pay for makeup for my own wedding!

Just tell her hell no… or what the more polite PPs said. 🙂

Post # 30
Member
953 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - Ontario, Canada

I don’t think you should have to pay for this and it should be fine to just tell her that you would rather do your own. I’m paying for my BMs dresses, jewellery and hair and they have the option to have make up done if they want but would then have to pay for that. I just though it’s the easist thing to do yourself. I would have loved to have been able to cover that as well but I just can’t afford it, but I would never force any of my girls to have it done, I thinkt hat is overkill.

Post # 31
Member
3501 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Yea just tell her.  I did my own makeup in the last wedding I was a Bridesmaid or Best Man in and got my hair done with the bride. 

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